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The losers?

You.

You may have heard about what happened last week for 4Play. It started off really nice.

And then, behind my back, Uber attacked me! He was swinging wildly and obviously too drunk to care. I had to defend myself!
(Actually, I was so drunk I don’t remember, but I jumped on his back to secure a choke and giggled reportedly like a little girl.)

So having slain the giant attacking, rampaging, drunken Uberbastard, I reveled in victory with a chair sticking into my leg. Knowing that I’d saved the Sanfordites from his flirtatious wrath, I retired.
(Apparently the real story is that I wouldn’t stop. Ever. He’d get up, I’d jump back on. I have the bruises to prove it.)

Check out the abuse I suffered at the hands and girth of the one, true, Uberbastard.

(Again, I was told that this resulted from me not wanting to stop and Uber not wanting to really hurt me. Unfortunately, I decided that hurting I wanted to be. Maybe I should grow up?)

What followed really disturbed me. I’ve gone back to the Wine Bar several times with extremely mixed reactions. Sometimes I get a ‘is that the radio guy who cursed here’ or a ‘that guy passed out on the couch.’ Most of the time though, I get the perfunctory ‘is that the guy who talked all that trash about my girl’ from them all. Here’s the skinny…if a guy walks into your bar two months in advance and tells you of his intentions and asks you to check out his show, then follows up by asking if you have and you say yes then book them…well, you have no right being angry that certain things were said. Especially if you, the ‘talent’, drove business there before during and after your show. Yet, here we fucking are. I love the place, and want to continue giving them my money. But I will cease in that endeavor if all I get is attitude irreplaceable to its effect.

I tire of people who are general well wishers, yet who cannot comply or follow through with a simple request. If you want to ride the rails and see which one zaps you, fine. Stop asking for my advice. In general, my circle of friends is collapsing. I cannot find a fault in that save for the people involved. Fuck off now.

You people need a primer to being contrary. First off, I want the oft maligned Ron Paul to win the nomination for the effervescent and ethereal Typical Ross Perot Candidacy for Intruding Presidency. You’ll thank me later, from the bunkers of your freshly killed neighbors.

Heath Leger is dead and you don’t care. So fucking what? I don’t care that you’re a welfare drawing retard who makes a living off of recycling your still living relatives. Who is the more morbid person here, you, the unnecessarily ‘I hate everyone’ person or me, the one who tells you what you don’t want to hear about you? Yes, your trials and tribulations are supposed to be addressed by everyone who fears you. Not I said the Fuck.

Here, I give to you what you nesciently seek: some semblance of an answer to your boorish daily lives.

Lost, the TV show, is an aphrodisiac for the terminally sleepless. Garth Merengie’s Dark Place is way better than Lost.

Wait, that’s actually true. Lost sucks my ass in a dry spell of 12 hours not seeing a toilet compared to the clarity that is Garth Merengie’s Dark Place.

Roe. V. Wade is bad law. Men; who encompass 50 percent of the baby making process, have no say in the aftermath (birth) of the agreed upon act. Sure, they are financially and evolutionally responsible for the child thing, but why spread the misery to the man kid? Jealousy. Abortion. It’s what’s for dinner talk. American Idol is simply the wishes of Satan. Watch it if you may, but Satan incurs ten percent of your soul for every failed William Hung impersonation done on National TV.

Again, this is just a primer for being contrary. In fact, I am being counter contrary, something that has never been done in the annals of the interwebs. I am the first contrary counter contrary person staking claim that the contrary sucks. Bully for me.

So, yeah…the pain has passed. I partied with the people I can legally talk about, some with those I can’t and we toasted to the death of a station. Pat Lynch and Taco Bob are gone? The wrong Bob got fired. They were not my cup of tea; in fact in this comparison I’d prefer coffee, but then they weren’t programmed for me, and in that they succeeded in garnering a respectable audience and following. I have to look at these things and consider that loyalty and hard work, cultivated talent and popularity…they all mean jack shit in radio anymore.

Bobby Smith once told me (I have it right over here if I ever start to forget…) that he gave me more chances than Alan Smith, the previous PD. No relation, by the way. Yes, he gave me the opportunity to be the Music Director, albeit under the nomenclature “Music Coordinator” replete with all the benefits and trimming that non-existent title brings to the table (read: none) and he gave me the ability to run three different shows on the station. However, what I could never seem to get through to him was that he would never give me the opportunity to get out of the overnights, and he’d never let me or anyone else help him make the station better. I didn’t care about my opportunities there so much as I cared for that station! I wanted it to succeed, thus we’d all succeed. He didn’t see it that way. The biggest example he had, my new title, couldn’t be done under the previous regime because when Alan was PD, Bobby was the Assistant PD AND the Music Director! There was no opportunity to be afforded then!

So, how does Clear Channel fit into this? They “flipped” WJRR a few months into the life cycle of O-Rock. Having been an Active Rock station for years, WJRR re-imaged themselves as Real Rock and claimed to be alternative. It must have pained Pat Lynch to talk about Hoobastank and Jimmy Eat World when previously they’d made fun of O-Rock playing such bands. However, when they flipped they stunted that everyone was fired, which they weren’t, and they redecorated the place to look a lot like O-Rock. Essentially, they confused the market and poisoned the Arbitron ratings by deception. Real Radio was huge then, so travelling on their mighty coat tails by name recognition was a genius idea. Real Radio, Real Rock. So, if you’re tooling down the road and you hear a Green Day song before switching over to the Phile, when you later try to recall who you were listening to, do you think O-Rock, or Real Rock? Half of Orlando said Real Rock. They took the same exact public domain samples we’d used in our imaging and used them in theirs, with requisite lazers and “phew phews” intact. They used a voice guy who sounded eerily familiar to ours. The guy sounded EXACTLY like our voice guy. They successfully branded the image of their station to be identical to ours. Everyone thought we were the same station, and would subsequently write down their name in the books. People would ask me “what’s Buckethead really like?” Uh, Jason is a cool dude, but he works for another station. “There’s another station?”

Baffling. But they did it and we just took it laying down, never firing a shot. They would give away our Mystery Show bands, we’d super glue the doors to the port-o-potties the night before EDBD. Nothing was ever done on air, though. It was a gamble for them, but it paid off in droves. After they’d beaten O-Rock for a few years, they recycled the moniker WJRR, if you noticed.

So now, O-Rock is dead because of failing ratings which are the fault of no one who was actually on the air. They’d strived and pleaded to be allowed to provide entertainment and good music, and were denied each time in the interests of saving one job, Bobby’s. He’s still there when no one else is, except in a different capacity. Supposedly programming the HD2 station as O-Rock, which no one listens to, and no one gets, thus he can’t screw it up. Corporate decided Classic Hits because just like Jamming Oldies, an executive came up with this format and it works in New York, why not everywhere else? It will work…unfortunately, and will out bill O-Rock shortly. Sad truth, but you cannot get safer than old top forty through the years. Safe and salable are the two sweetest words a programmer can hear. That’s that loud noise you just heard in Orlando.

This is no work of some fabulist whose recollection shines favor on one and not the other; this is the recollection of a front line journalist whose seething passion for one station let him be led astray from that very station. O-Rock is dead, long live O-Rock.

If Pat and Bob can be so callously tossed aside, Orlando radio has to ask…who is next?

A respite, if you will, from my usual musings and vitriolic infused verbal lashings. Devoid of my typical grandiloquialisms, tyrannical tirades or verbose verisimilitudes that you’ve come to groan at whilst flipping through dictionary.com to even remotely comprehend.

A simple wish, an unusual present…a side of me not explored on the periodical publication you’re reading.

So, here goes…Happy Fucking Holidays.

Don’t care. Already backed everything up…again, and really don’t see what cause there is for alarm. What are people scared of? An invasion? Secrets being passed back and forth? Locked posts people think I don’t know about where they bravely try to talk shit about me getting unlocked? Pfft. There’s been ways around that for years. As in the past, there will be a cry for mass exodus, and not much will happen. You’re really not that important that this will be some kind of coup to steal your thoughts. Since I have some Russian friends now, I say Pervert Godzilla, Russia! Enjoy your new view of American insanity!

Being a fan of all things Kaiju, I requisitioned Godzilla 2000…the answer to the grotesque titular Godzilla from Tri-Mark fame starring a tuna eating lizard. Blockbuster claimed to have had my back. Not even remotely. Popping the DVD into the 360, I am greeted by what looks to me a familiar menu. Nah, can’t be, can it? I wasn’t looking for the original, I own it…and it has the American version of the same on it. Not the Showa series Godzilla, nor the Heisei era either. I wanted the first of the Millennium series. What do I get? The fucking 1998 Tri-Star abortion known only as “Godzilla.” Should have been called “Zilla”, because there was no God in the making of that film. I quickly emptied the DVD tray and then my stomach’s contents, and sent that back as soon as I could stagger outside. Not content to merely register my abnormally large displeasure at having to watch 10 seconds of that countermeasure to logic and good storytelling, I wrote them an e-mail.

Dear Blockbuster,

You apes. You incompetent, acerebral groin pullers. You have ruined and saved me. Let me explain. I was to receive Godzilla 2000 in the mail from your Johnny Come less that Netflix service, and got the American version that forced the Japanese to counter with a new Godzilla just to protect the integrity of a rubber suited monster. Think about that for a second…they spent a lot of money protecting a rubber suit because Roland Emmerich screwed up so bad they felt they had to. So what do you do? You send me HIS version of it. The result was terrifying. My date was all liquored up and I was ready to go to town. I was planning on hitting that shit several times that night. I hate condoms. Really hate them. She loves Kaiju movies as well and was repulsed by the Tri-Star failure, so while I was regurgitating lunch like Micheal Bay does other people’s ideas in the bathroom, you forced her to induce an early period replete with bloating cramps! Thus, no sex and no subsequent pregnancies. I guess that’s where I may thank you, so thanks Blockbuster…thanks for killing my future kids! I’m sure if you’d have let them live to talk, they’d thank you too as they’d only get Godzilla related clothing and toys, and I hear that’ll emotionally stunt a kid as they get older.

All the best you baby murderers,

Gary

I wonder what kind of reply I’ll get?

Since there is so much chicanery happening in my personal life, let’s turn the ever so opportunistic screws to music relations. I have decided that in my perspective interests, music is indeed an essential portion of living. So, therefore, I will hereby establish a new edict that decrees such as one who shall display the ability to play all the instruments pertaining to this song, More Than A Fucking Feeling by Boston, shall be the only person (s) I personally take music advice or criticism from. Not by playing Rock Band or by flailing away at Guitar Hero, but by earnest advancement in the acquisition of the talents required to play the song. If not, I don’t care…because understanding music theory, there’s so much crap masquerading as talent out there and people eat it up. So unless you can play the seminal classic aforementioned, I go BZZZZZZZZZZ.

It’s annual gift giving season, so I have to bring this up. Brand loyalty, what is it? I can understand if you prefer Apple’s I-Pod to something of equal storage retaining strength, but why Apple if there is something superior in way of price? Understanding the branding and meaning the portmanteau that Apple portends to, the Microsoft Zune was being sold for half the price of a competing I-Pod with more than three times the memory and I heard people saying that they wanted the I-Pod. Why? Not for I-Tunes…which is a bloated piece of software that MS would be proud to call Vista worthy. If it is, tell me why, please. Not that I use Windows Media Player either for my MP3 player…that way leads to madness. It creates individual folders for each artist…which is a pain when you want to play on random. My preference is simply Windows Explorer so that I can easily drag and drop stuff over when I want. This is something I hear the Zune doesn’t do due to MS wanting the Zune to be like an I-Pod, which is incredibly dumb. I feel that it is brand loyalty that pulls people into the I-Pod gravity, which I don’t get. I-Pods are status symbols, but they are not the first nor best MP3 players for the money. Hell, I’d take an off brand player at a discounted price before paying for a symbol that hardly stands up to the industry now with respect to price to performance ratios. I also think it’s a bad sign to send when you’d pay so much for so little space when it does not come close to the standard monetary value on HDD or flash memory space anyway. If you pay that amount for a status symbol, the clear sign is that you are willing to pay so much for it, validating its price point. It’s the same with the 360 hard drive that 99 bucks for 120 gigs. NO! That’s not nearly market value, and it sucks, which brings me to console loyalty. PS3, 360, Wii…what is it? I hate Sony for their business practices, but that does not bleed over to their performance as console providers. I hate MS for the same, but the same applies. Nintendo is the worst of the bunch, despite what you think you know, yet I give them pause for the creation of the Wii. If you think otherwise, I challenge you to tell me what either Sony or MS has done in the Video Game industry to unnerve it that Nintendo did with Mr. Lieberman during the initial Parental trials. Well? Yeah, nothing. I can forgive almost anything if I get commensurate pleasure from the end product. That I do with the 360. I almost exclusively buy Sony cameras because I like them, but if something better at a better price comes along, there’s no loss in loyalty to do so. People hate companies for their own reasons, I get that. But at the end of it all, if the experience you want is offered exclusively by the company you hate the most…do you buy it? If I derive enjoyment from it, yes.

Lieberman actually got in the middle of a video game console war to get what he wanted. Back in the 90s, the game Mortal Kombat made his skin crawl with its “realistic depictions of extreme violence.” Trusting Nintendo to not make shit up, Lieberman presented to a special council his most damning evidence in banning violent video games. (Never mind who he was considering appointing to the seats that decide what a violent video game is, the writing was practically on the wall that he was targeting ALL video games with a hint of violence. So even Nintendo wasn’t safe, which they erroneously thought they were.) He presented a piece of footage, provided by Nintendo, of the SEGA Genesis home version of Mortal Kombat with every Fatality and speck of blood in-gory-tact. Unfortunately for them, their dim witted dalliance was exposed as a fraud when SEGA revealed that the footage in question was from the Arcade version, not their version. Apparently the pimply faced pizza weasel at the local Dorks-A-Hoy Arcade does a much better job at parenting than the actual parents, as the council found no problem with this. Nintendo thought that the cuffs would be slapped on the edgy and semi-violent Sonic the Hedgehog, but that Mario would forever try to save the Princess from Magic Mushrooms. Luckily for anyone that likes games (and freedom), this crisis was averted. Side bar, since 2001 all home consoles have a feature where you can set the parental controls through a very simple and easy interface. So even if little Johnny gets Panty Raper Joy Fuck Tentacle Cock Reamer 50, he can’t play it because the parental setting and the ESRB have it locked out. Your password, make it difficult and check it out every so often. That way you can do your job as a parent and feel good, and not have to have a bunch of politicians stepping in and doing it for you. Self-Actualization, it feels great.

So, back to my remorse at having to vote against someone instead of for someone…say all you want about “if you do vote third party, you send a strong message that in the future blah blah blah.” Bullshit. Until the two dominant parties give up the image and façade that they are the only two true parties, the third party system will forever be fucked. It took an act of a Billionaire to counter this the last time it truly mattered. The country sees it as a race between two parties and the five hundred third parties (why are they all third parties, anyway? So that you’ll be overwhelmed and have no alternative but to vote for one of the big two.) They fight for scraps. Ron Paul is being verbally eviscerated by either side of the political barbed wire, electrically charged fence because he’s not ONE OF THEM. But he’d like you to think that he is. So, if neither of the two up for election is going to be anyone I want in office, then it’s my civic duty to vote for the one that least offends me? No. Oh, so I should vote to keep one of them out of office because I don’t agree with them? Tell me again how this isn’t throwing away my vote? Voting to keep someone out of office…you know what, I’d rather have the bank account of Ross Perot than to merely act like him, because that’s what he did in the 90s…played the spoiler. It worked, but that’s not my job.

“Oh, well if you don’t vote, you can’t bitch.” Bullshit. I can bitch about not having someone to vote for, thank you very much. And fuck you if you think merely voting makes you eligible to bitch about the ‘system.’ That vacuous thinking belies the very nature of our National elections. You’d have to start with electing state officials that will actually listen to you, and will help in the state delegates assigned to go nationally. You’d also need them to be open to the idea of third parties. Good luck. Then, our votes actually go to ‘persuade’ the Electors, who in turn cast their vote for the actual presidency. The wonderful Electoral College, because you’re too stupid to trust with that kind of power. Popular vote? That’s served us so well in the past, now hasn’t it? Especially in 2000. So I vote locally, fuck nationally…until you give me a candidate I can agree on with for a majority of issues, not just one or two, and who doesn’t want to push an agenda on something that may seem trivial to you but is important to me (and those are the kinds of political activism you can achieve a modicum of satisfaction and prosperity in, so I believe in them) based on crap and isn’t just a “I hate them the least” type, my vote is the absolute loudest and possibly most sincere in the bunch…abstaining. You hear it every election, over and again, and it’s not because I’m lazy.

“If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.”—Rush

That is my fucking vote.

In the ongoing story of Andrew Allred, the guy who killed his ex and his ex friend…all’s quiet on that murderous front. He allegedly went before a judge once and is scheduled to do so again in November and has been on suicide watch. The first inquiry into this saw Allred charged with murder, armed burglary, aggravated battery and criminal mischief. No one I know has even tried to contact him.

I signed onto AIM for the first time in months the other day. Andrew’s screen name popped up as on-line. What in the Hairy Fuck?

The Notorious MBI and the Orlando Weekly are going at it…the latter accusing the former of retaliatory investigating. I have mutual disinterest and accompanying disdain (it’s difficult, but I manage) for both, but let me play around a bit.

The MBI busts some strip clubs and parlors, which may or may not have been advertisers with the Weekly, and then the paper launches an investigation on them. Could be retaliatory, correct? However, even if they were advertisers and the paper wasn’t just “sticking up for the little guy” which closely resembles “drumming up interest in our character”, what the Weekly did wasn’t unethical like it would be for the MBI. They have a right to investigate and report on what they find, right? Not so clear cut with a supposed authority figure, answerable to few, that has a lot of resources and power that should probably be allocated to more substantive crimes than ‘aiding prostitution’.

So the Weekly launches a tirade that I guess doesn’t entirely approximate an editorial on the history of the Orlando MBI and some of their reported and alleged nefarious mis-deeds and assumed grudges. Again, under the circumstances of having three employees nabbed at a job fair, when the agency supposedly had what they needed weeks ago, I can’t blame them for this swift action. Then, though, they throw the Sentinel, Embarq, the Globe and others under the proverbial bus by doing an ad comparison with what they were told they were busted for. All’s fair in love and war and all that, but did it ever occur to them that when they are reporting the lack of returned phone calls from other papers and companies, that maybe…just maybe it’s because they, too, are under investigation and want to keep a low profile?

I mean, come on…the ads in the back of the Weekly have been a running (mucus down your syphilitic leg) joke for years now. Strip Clubs and Cabbies have used them for years to direct travelers new in town to their degenerate needs when they didn’t want to trust or deal with them. Sure, you can find worse things winding up in aggregates on the internet…fucking Tub Girl is out there!

Is the MBI wrong in this? Perhaps not in some aspects of this case, but they sure don’t smell right. Between the strip club antics and the alleged vendettas they’ve wreaked through the years, I’m certainly not enthusiastic about them buying a bunch of white hats to wear without a two ton weight falling out of the blue because God suddenly took notice. However, they just released supposed evidence that would indicate one employee of the Weekly discussing how to advertise a company as a single girl, and the finer points of hiding the naughty parts in official sounding language. Is it true? We’ll find out I suppose. The part here that’s important for both sides is that I am right and I know the truth.

Not really, I don’t know shit. Hell, none of it could be even be true. Just wanted to write it all out and pretend, get it published and after years of seeing it, finally experiencing how it felt. Ouch, wicked burn. Now I know what that feels like too.:)

Let’s start off with the police officer who wanted to sue for being injured on a call. Come on, is that any worse than someone suing for being impugned on public airwaves? Oh wait, one answer questions the other. Never mind. Both are repugnant. Let’s just forget her, save she gain any sort of “don’t taze me bro” fame from it.

At the glorious Emerald Hen with the vainglorious Uberbastard, we encountered these three youths set to wanton destruction of popular convention, bully for them. Only, they had an aura of bullshit about them that set off our moron detectors when they walked in. For me, it was the guy sitting next to me at the bar fully enraptured over his buddies’ stories of hunting and gathering that would make the modern Neanderthal (not to be obfuscated with the hit comedy Caveman…soon to be released on fungi spoor) blush or kill, depending on the topic. He fawned over his friend’s assumed achievements in killing critters for sport, not food, until the point of flagellation over the perceived unacceptable behavior in wishing to chug his mate’s cock. At one point the Uber set off my choke-y button and I beset upon him by the query to Heather, the best breasted maiden of said den.

Me: Heather, do you have a bat here?

Heather: Yes, I do…why?

Me: I wish to impregnate Uber’s head with an idea that women are not to be tortured with his erratic and confused thoughts.

Douche: Impregnate? Don’t you mean impart? Infuse maybe?

Me: No, I mean impregnate. Why?

Douche: I’m trying to wrap my head around the definition to see why you’d use that.

Me: Don’t concern yourself with things you don’t quite understand.

Douche: But…

Me: Move on.

So he does, for the moment. Then I hear him utter presumably under his breath…

Douche: Impart. I know you meant impart.

I ignore this at first. Then he says something I cannot ignore.

Douche: They literally forged the show from hatred of their audience.

Me: No they didn’t.

Douche: You listened?

Me: I didn’t have to. You cannot forge an actual material from hate. You can forge material with hate in mind, but you have no idea what ‘literally’ means, do you?

Friend of Douche: Yes he does. He’s embellishing by using the word. It’s a perfect usage.

Me: Its use is not in question so much as the intention is. Unnecessary use of a word that is not a modifier. You can say ‘they forged the show from hatred of their audience’ without using the colloquial misuse of a word that implies the exact opposite.

Friend of Douche: Shut up.

Uber: Watch it Clive.

So this went on unnoticed by anyone else for a while. Then original douche says ‘impregnate’ again with incredulous intent. I have to say something else.

Me: You’re still harping on that? What, you want every word you know to have one meaning and one alone that has something to do with breeding when you so clearly are not worried about that yourself?

Douche: What do you mean?

Me: You’re half mad over your mate there and all the way for the other one blowing smoke up everyone’s ass. So it’s no surprise that you think ‘impregnate’ cannot mean ‘imbue’, ‘impart’, or otherwise. How about ‘bash your skull in’…does that make it better for you?

It’s now that he shuts it. I wonder later where the animosity originated from. Uber informs me that when the biggest of the idiots walked in like he nesciently owned the place, he asked a simple question.

Douche Two: What did I miss?

Uber: Apparently the entire 80s.

So, yeah. I rescued a snake last week. It was a rattle snake that had lost its rattle over by the Fashion Square Mall. I saw him wriggling by the exit/entrance. Ana and I got out of the car and tried to guide him off the path of idiots without the wherewithal to drive and breathe at the same time. I turn on the hazards and steer the car toward the middle of the ramp. This lady almost walks right into the snake and I tell her about him, being a poisonous snake and all. She laughs, then looks. He strikes somewhere near her and she allows the notion of her impending mortality to sink in. We escort her across the thoroughfare and set off to saving the reptile. Then this car approaches and I try to make it pull wide. Stupid bitch does not allow for that. Now, I love animals, but I am not about to turn my back at close quarters to a poisonous snake, so I give it wide birth. The stupid old bitch of course goes around me and cuts hard to the right, running over the snake’s tail. He’s alright, just injured and really mad now. I curse at the stupid bitch who paid no attention to me at all. I mean, for all she knew, that was my pet snake escaped from my car which was clearly in her fucking way. No rattle, no coiling at that moment means she’s just a dumb blue hair whose reaction time has slowed down in double proportion to her husband’s sexual attraction to her, despite the little blue pills he wastes on the little insecure female pharmacist.

We manage to save the snake and release him into public domain. He struck at me and spit venom at me, but my two foot plunger was all the room I needed.

What?

Am I supposed to feel bad that I released him into a public area? It’s not like he was in a playground.

As a matter of indisputable fact, I let him loose in Baldwin Park. Lord knows there’s more snakes per square foot there than any other point currently in Orlando. So if anything, I made his life competitive.

What? No way. Andrew Allred would maybe jack your MySpace and make you look like you’re eating dicks in every picture, but…he did what?

A little over a month ago, Allred’s girlfriend Tiffany plotted and succeeded in breaking up with Allred at a party. A birthday party that was for Allred and his long time friend Michael Ruschak, and was attended by many of their friends. Now, I know what you’re thinking because your thought process is as transparent and shallow as Orlando Radio’s current talent pool. What a bitch, breaking up with him at his birthday party! I had a similar thought before remembering I actually have a semblance of sapience and switched gears to why would she feel the need to do this…coupled with the fact that calling her a bitch when she’s dead is just beneath me.

So while on the phone with people all night, some of it starts coming into light. But to tell the story as I know it to be takes us back and forth between the night of the break up and the night of the double murder. Tiffany did indeed plot to leave Allred, presumably because he was controlling and sometimes had a cruel tongue. He had done her so many favors, from arranging a place for her to live (which was his place, under careful eye constantly), to her cell phone (attached to his account so he could see who she was talking to), to her bank account and beyond. He also keylogged the computer. Keyloggers allow you to see every keystroke made on a computer in an easy to hide text file…even the symbols and back spaces can be viddied. Every pass word she had, he likely had as well.

That’s not normal, but no one knew about it until it was too late. A mutual good friend told me that he was getting angrier and angrier at his own friends following the break up. Here’s what I know about that night. Michael and Allred were already partying with Tiffany, who was being distant, when the guests showed up. Allred was performing as the ribald, albeit to an almost rancorous degree. Spilling beer on people, throwing lit firecrackers at them…you know what they say, it’s my party and I’ll light you on fire if I want to. She then went out by the front gate of the place to talk to her friends. Her plan was to break up after the party, but when people were still there so that whatever his reaction was to it, which worried her, she’d be safe. That changed when Allred threw her stuff out and yelled at her for trying to break up on his birthday. Then she found out he’d been reading her locked posts on LiveJournal and knew about this all along. I know because she posted something on another site that she thought was safe, Greatest Journal, and he had that too. He posted all of it the day he set out to kill them, along with a chat transcript between Michael and Tiffany about the sexual nature of their relationship. It’s believed that this chat may have driven him over the edge.

Allred was a guy who came to my house, helped me move twice, helped plan and film projects together, hung out and even came up to the old station I worked at whenever the group he was with wanted to co host the Rant or have a fun Saturday night show. I keep thinking that he’s dead, but he’s not. He’s in jail. However, as most people who know him say to me when I discuss it with them…he’s all but dead to us. I don’t know that guy anymore.

He rammed into her car at least 7 or 8 times in his truck before jumping out and trying to knock down the front door. Failing that, he went around back and shot at the sliding glass door until he could enter it and went inside. He shot one man in the leg who tried to stop him and targeted Michael. After killing him, he went after Tiffany. He tracked her down and while a good friend of hers was locked in the adjacent bathroom…terrified and transfixed by what she heard, he argued with her briefly before shooting her. She didn’t die immediately. It took a while. Then he called a few people asking them to turn him in to the local constabulary and went home. His website was taken down and all that was left was a directory of evidence he’s amassed over the past month on his perceived enemies, including at least two of his closest friends. A message on the group’s website forum simply said he’d see all his failures for friends in Hell. So, most of his friends panicked and called the cops. They stayed out until they had proof that he was in custody. One of the screen caps was a message from his closest friend MySpace messaging Tiffany asking her if she would l need help moving still. Allred saw this as betrayal. I’m just glad that he wasn’t at the party. Allred changed her MySpace profile to say “I’m a whore” and erased all of her stored pics on facebook right before he killed her.

Don’t listen to the bullshit spouted on the news. They didn’t get him for another 3 hours or so after he did this DESPITE them having a description, a name, an address, make and model of his vehicle and witnesses that he did indeed kill two people. He went fucking home. How fucking hard is it to send one Gawd Damned vehicle over there?

I’ve thought about going to see him. I don’t know why. Mine would not be the eyes of bitter anger or vengeance, but of confusion. Don’t know if that’ll ever happen.

Now, to the police who went on the news after it happened and trumpeted their “on-line skills” in the investigation AFTER THE FACT THAT TWO PEOPLE WERE DEAD. Goody for you, you pusillanimous puerile problematic pricks. How about when Tiffany reported that Allred had ‘hacked’ her bank account on-line and withdrew funds that he just may have used to help purchase the gun he killed her with?

“Oh, take that up with your bank.”

How about when Allred sent Michael and Tiffany death threats and posted pictures of them he used for target practice? How about when they went back and had it printed out for the cops and showed them the death threats?

“He didn’t threaten you in person, so nothing we can do.”

Not even look into the fact that he had just purchased a gun, bragged about it on-line and told the two of them, “the next time I see you, I’m going to kill you both.” Not even a visit.

Yet you’ll beat your sunken chests and pound your inept pud on TV clamoring about what great detective work you did on the onlines. Fuck you. You go on air afterward and talk about how “these days you have to take internet threats seriously” yet you dropped the fucking ball, didn’t you?

You dunderheads using this tragedy (and this always fucking happens. Your agenda comes first, sympathy for the victims second) to soapbox your instigative self interests…just log the fuck off the internet and do something constructive, M’kay? I saw this shit posted all over the internet…”if only we made guns illegal they’d be alive today.”

Bullshit. The only other guy I know who purposefully killed someone didn’t have a gun. He waited until his girlfriend and her lover were getting into his car, knowing he’d open the door for her, and he rammed them at 80mph. If only we made cars illegal, they’d be alive today.

Another person I know who has killed in self-defense crushed the attacker’s throat with his elbow. If only we made elbows illegal, that guy would have succeeded in stealing my friend’s wallet and possibly killed him with the knife he was wielding.

The XBOX murders? Aluminum baseball bats. If only we made baseball bats illegal, those kids would still be flipping burgers in glee.

So lay off the agenda, where there’s a broken mind there’s a way.
I went to one of the previous toilets of the internet, the SA forum, to see if they caught wind of it seeing as Allred posted there. I wanted to light into some ridiculous pederast who had the nerve to make fun of this. To my utter shock, there was none of that to be found. They were horrified. I was moderately surprised.

Turns out, I knew Tiffany. She went by the handle Incuchik on the old board the old station had. We weren’t best of buds, but we were friendly with one another and I even hooked her up with some tickets, because that’s what pals do. It took a phone call from my friend Bill to make me realize that she was who she was, as I refused to watch the news due to their inaccurate reporting.

Tiffany, Michael and Allred are gone. Shit.

I had a girlfriend who broke up with me on my birthday once. She gave me a black candle in a black bag then broke it off before the appetizer arrived. I ordered another beer and cried in my chicken fried steak, then cooled it down and dealt with it. Doing so, I had the pleasure of continuing to fuck this girl for three more years when we weren’t dating others (and sometimes during) and it was brilliant.

I’m not saying my way was better than…aw fuck it. Yes it is. By fucking tons.

He was already in his Lack Of Progress Energy truck, writing something down.

“Excuse me, what’s going on here?”

“Failure to make a payment, service disruption order in.”

This guy is obviously paid for his communication skills.

“There has to be a mistake, I just paid the bill Friday.”

“Don’t know about that. Order in.”

“Can you check on it?”

“Call them.”

“Call them with what phone? You just cut my power off.”

“Cell phone?”

“Touché, douche, but you have a computer right there, can’t you check the account?”

“Just doing job. Can’t you?”

“Sure, with my computer that is off and my internet that’s been rendered useless because someone turned my power off.”

“Not my concern.”

So in my preparation to slash his tires with my switchblade, I noticed his tab on his browser set to a satellite radio forum and his Sirius plug in contraption. Getting real close and conveying the best friendly countenance I could muster under the circumstances, I approach the vehicle again.

“Say, you listen to Sirius in your car?”

“Mostly. Sometimes off the computer.”

“Have you ever heard of SomaCow?”

“No.”

So I handed him a card, talked about our mutual disdain for terrestrial radio and pissed on his door handle while he was giving me a stalwart “Stern Rules.” He was off, but not before I could light a bottle of Valentina Tereshkova (dubbed Gary’s Ass Blaster Lager by Iceman) and throw it in his cab.

Then I called the company and found out that I did owe them money. A lot of it. Almost exactly the amount I’d just paid. Oh wait, it’s because they double billed me. Yippee.

So she tells me that she’ll just have the guy turn around and turn the power back on. Whoops. Guess I’ll have to wait until the next crew can get here, that guy’s toast. If he’s not dead he’s in a bar already, having been tempted by my intense home brew to seek out further liquid libations. I hear her computer in the background…

“So, you like videogames or stuff like that?”

“Yeah, I’m a level bajillionty on Scars of Snorecraft.”

“Well then, have I got a show for you…”

Sometimes, getting the power turned off can be a blessing. Even if it’s a mistake.

Most times though, it’s just some prick who cannot properly convey meaning to message that does you in.

I’ll do it, fine. Keep your accusatory ocular oscillations off of my transitional passages meant to entice you to read further. The answer to the question everyone has been asking, the reason the site is getting so many hits and the all pervasive sometimes invasive query that no speculation can quite quell within reasonable boundaries for all involved.
No, we’re not going to Dragon*Con this year. Sorry.

Oh, also there’s that question you really have to search for with Transmission Electron Microscope to find any talk of, what happened to Blackbean?

Far be it for me to inject some facts and admittedly repressed (not so much) bitterness into things, but it fails my ability to relate to ‘humans’ when they are presented with a few unassailable insights into the industry they are discussing and the end result is utter obfuscation and complete denial.

“I heard that Encyclopedic Topography is a new study involving the mapping of the most looked into topics.”

“It was invented by the Aliens.”

“No, it was not. It’s akin to the study that brought about google.com.”

“So these aliens, they said once on a program notorious for lying that…”

That’s pretty much it. Look, if they aren’t talking, it’s for a reason and 9 times out of 10 that reason is legal in nature due to someone worried about what might be said in retaliation or in court. Or, more to the point, when you’re fired.

But fine, you need your speculation? Here’s one that is TOTALLY fictional. Russo told Black Beard that Drool said something about his girlfriend. It was a true statement, but it wasn’t Black Beard’s girl talked about, it was Russo’s. Desperately wanting some semblance of control over the direction their ship was taking, Russo knew he had to keelhaul someone and BB looked easiest. Break the chain, break the habit. Black Beard attacked Drool on stage at a rival company event, sure to get him fired for assaulting a high profile member of a rival crew under the assumed sanctity of the event. Unfortunately, the company they work for, Obscure Passage, did not do what was predicted and fire BB. So, in an embarrassed show of solidarity for the other members of the crew, Russo had to pay for a lot of legal counsel to make things appear right. It took a long time, but finally a loop hole was found to excise Black Beard from the ship and Russo sails off into the night happy at long last.

That’s really about as feasible as anything else. Sheesh. Just let it go or wait for the substantiation that I am right.

Anyone ever wonder why the other forms of media hate radio people? All over the place you see TV people, Printed Media people et al attacking radio people by the virtue of their one weapon available…not giving radio people credit for anything. Seriously, they flub the station name, reverse the talent’s name or ignore them completely when the radio person’s event has their name stamped all over it. Why?

Jealousy. Seriously! In any given metro, conduct a poll taking the names of the top radio personalities in that market and match them up with the same from TV News and the Paper. Bet you people have heard of the radio people more than the others. Take it to a national stage. See what happens. Stern and Imus, Opie and Anthony…you’re going to lose. Radio people garner more attention and notoriety from the common folk than their TV or print counterparts, by doing far LESS work for it. Sucks, but there it is.

I ruled AFO. I did the Dead Milkmen’s “Punk Rock Girl” at Karaoke Thursday night and instead of driving people away, which was my intent, people came over to check it out. Beats some girl taking a crap song like “Stacy’s Mom” and giving it anime centric lyrics written down and STILL messing it all up.

My Villain panel was beyond your usual panel about almost anything. That was pure force of sobriety’s angered will. The closing ceremonies saw me getting a standing ovation as the evil Prince despite my claims to shut down the dance on Saturday. Actually, outside of the dance room itself, every time I mentioned that the dance would be shut down by my overt machinations, I was applauded. Weird.

I certainly was no deuteragonist that weekend. Not like the next fellow tried to paint things for us…

I can take criticism, but when I know that the reason for it is someone’s overactive sense of self-hate and loathing coupled with an ability to get offended by ANYTHING seeping into their assessment of what people are actually saying, then I discount it for what it really is. All it is, is deception and lies in the form of being offended for the sake of being offended because no one is paying attention to you. Some self-professed “I’m kinda a big deal” guy wandered into the chat room last night during the show (put it together, genius…I’m cheating) and no one really cared. Then he heard me say something about Christian Slater having a cock in his mouth being the reason he was even in the cinematic abortion known as Alone in the Dark and suddenly I am gay bashing. But…we saved the chat transcripts, you douche! I’ll just include his part for the most…

[20:34] {UnimportantDouche} Sorry if I’m quiet .. .listening while I
sniff some EverCrack
[20:34] {AnaAesthetic} Tomb of Jesus?
[20:37] {Iceman2469} dude this music is killer.
[20:37] {Gary} Nice. Gonna go google that now.
[20:38] {UnimportantDouche} Yes, it’s literally killing me

Of course, first strike is this guy has no idea that he’s not actually being killed by anything other than his love for swallowing his own bullshit.

[20:38] {AnaAesthetic} hahaha
[20:38] {AnaAesthetic} It’s Wumpscut - Hide and Seek
[20:39] {Gary} Mongo’s favorite part.
[20:39] {Iceman2469} Just Push Play, now with 23% more scotch
[20:40] {UnimportantDouche} LOL!
[20:40] {UnimportantDouche} This Scotch thing is hilarious
[20:40] {AnaAesthetic} We need more scotch! *whips the boys with a
fish*
[20:40] {Gary} Thanks! The Scotch Counsel hired us to remake their
image.
[20:41] {UnimportantDouche} lol
[20:43] {Iceman2469} The shuttle has a gash now? Who knew ?
[20:44] {UnimportantDouche} They brought a shuttle home once without
wings and a windshielf
[20:44] {UnimportantDouche} windshield
[20:44] {AnaAesthetic} Listen, we only broadcast once a week, fresh
news ain’t all that great
[20:44] {AnaAesthetic} no way!
[20:44] {Iceman2469} i heard they had to stop once in the atmosphere
and jumpstart the shuttle
[20:44] {UnimportantDouche} And they once brought a shuttle home without a
shuttle
[20:44] {UnimportantDouche} That was a bit awkward
[20:45] {AnaAesthetic} Genius!
[20:45] {AnaAesthetic} How did they manage
[20:45] {UnimportantDouche} One time an astronaut did a spacewalk, and
tripped
[20:45] {UnimportantDouche} I mean, how clumsy do you have to be?
[20:45] {Iceman2469} Les Stroud could soar thru the atmosphere
without a shuttle
[20:46] {geoff} x33
[20:46] {UnimportantDouche} I like to do the Moonwalk while drinking
Jesus Juice and having some alien singing Thriller molest me

Anyone else feel like this guy needs someone to constantly provide him some sort of validation for his “look at me I’m weird” attitude? Sorry, dude, no one here knows who you are except Ana and that’s only because you used to be a groupie on her old show. No one in this chat room is going to reward weird for weird’s sake when it’s just not funny. So, he hears something he doesn’t like and suddenly…

[20:49] {UnimportantDouche} Wow … this is pretty anti-gay
[20:49] {Gary} I hope they don’t remake Enter the Dragon…
[20:50] {Iceman2469} Ben Affleck as THOR!!
[20:50] {AnaAesthetic} Yeah, men and in fear of their sexuality… go
figure
[20:50] {Iceman2469} Steven Seguall will star in the new Hulk 2 movie.
[20:50] *** UnimportantDouche
(~muchedumb@wikkedwire-4F3D0FF2.tampfl.fios.verizon.net) has quit IRC
[A bientôt]
[20:53] {UnimportantDouche} When does the entertainment actually start on
this show?

I don’t know, how quickly can you lop your own head off?

[20:54] {UnimportantDouche} Where is the great sounding lady? And why are
they talking and she isn’t?

I won’t touch the horrible grammar even if it’s from someone whose finished words actually reach the printing press since it’s chat, but this guy automatically starts reaching. Something you should know, but it’s not important at all, is that we were informed that he is gay and Jewish. Watch him flail in vain.

[20:54] {UnimportantDouche} lol
[20:55] {UnimportantDouche} zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[20:56] {UnimportantDouche} soooooo bored

Yet here you are, on a Friday night no less, listening and interacting with something you claim is boring you. If your agenda was any less obvious your screen name would be “EASILY OFFENDED BY MYSELF.” As such, it’s just your name, which implies all of the above anyway.

[20:56] {UnimportantDouche} I feel like I’m listening to C-SPAN

And typing as fast as his pudgy little digits can muster the strength to do apparently.

[20:56] {Iceman2469} For the Order of death they need to check the
seating chart like in Final Destination.
[20:56] {UnimportantDouche} I love watching the paint dry on these walls
…

No offense, but you also love to gargle semen so your proclivities toward what you like matter little in the grand scheme. Geez, who put the icy hot in your anal-eze? That’s more a knock that we DIDN’T TELL ANY GAY JOKES DURING THE SHOW than an outright gay joke here. Just giving him what he wanted post chat.

[20:57] {Iceman2469} walk up to a mic and yell “MR. GORBACHOF, TEAR
DOWN THIS WALL”
[20:57] {UnimportantDouche} Mr. Gorbachev! Take this show off the air!

He’s so witty! So bright and funny! And he tells himself this in the mirror every day!

[20:57] {Iceman2469} Brian Adams Cause of death……. Death.
[20:58] {UnimportantDouche} No. 1 cause of suicide: Listening to this show

If that were true your incisors would have chewed through your pulpy wrists and we’d be happy, since like a mythical deity you need worship to exist, you mentally inept and jovially short cut taking extraordinaire of the absolute value of suck. It’s a shame you didn’t end yourself, the world ended its recognition of your meaningful impact to existence long ago.

[20:58] {Iceman2469} Dude Gary, the worse show premire last week was
Flash Gordon. God i was superly disappointed.
[20:58] {UnimportantDouche} Flash Gordon could win an Emmy compared to
this show

The show he can’t tear himself away from. I would win a Pulitzer Prize from trashing his work, which by the way is probably going to be the easiest endeavor I’ve ever engaged in.

[20:58] {UnimportantDouche} Hell, a Peabody
[20:58] {Gary} You can leave anytime.
[20:59] {UnimportantDouche} Why? It’s much more fun entertaining myself
here. Someone has to do it

I tried. I noticed he wasn’t happy nor was he ever going to give a straight answer (NOT A GAY JOKE) so there was his opt out. I was more concerned that everyone else would tear him a new one in a way he wouldn’t enjoy. Or, seeing that he’s an attention addict, he’d probably like anything people threw at him. Either way, I was busy doing a show.

[20:59] {geoff} you jack off to the show?
[20:59] {geoff} weird
[20:59] {Iceman2469} first off for FG, Ming looks like a douche.
[20:59] {geoff} I mean, do what you do, but, weird
[20:59] {UnimportantDouche} The second episode, Ming is actually better
[20:59] {UnimportantDouche} Nah … I jack off to porn.

Thank GOD he didn’t elaborate. Usually at this point self-loathers with a “weird out” complex describe in detail what they jerk off to in an attempt to garner more attention. Luckily, I think he was preoccupied. Eww. Maybe he thinks the show is porn?

[21:00] {Iceman2469} Shirley you can’t be serious?
[21:01] {geoff} spaceballs suffer from the curse of mel
[21:01] {UnimportantDouche} I wish this show would go on an airplane …
one way

One non-stop flight into your cerebrum boarding now, never to leave there chief dip-shit.

[21:01] {geoff} “I CANNOT let ten minutes pass without a jew joke”
[21:01] {UnimportantDouche} Might as well .. already done gay jokes,
let’s insult everyone … which you already are by simply calling this
“entertainment”
[21:01] {UnimportantDouche} That’s an insult in of itself

Again, this guy supposedly writes for a living. We never told one gay joke. Here, go find one here.

Howey, anyone…I’m serious here. Was there something I’m missing? The Slater joke was an allusion to him being more concerned with work than with the quality of work and that he was so hard up for money he’d do anything. I thought it was obvious. Hell, the gay joke was in the scotch commercial and was an intentional misdirection, that he laughed at.

[21:01] {eh} doh
[21:01] {geoff} oh!
[21:01] [MLG] uhhh
[21:02] [MLG] can you chill with that a bit please?
[21:02] {UnimportantDouche} Why? You would rather us all say, “You are
awesome!”
[21:02] {UnimportantDouche} Sorry, I don’t know how to lie
[21:02] [MLG] i don’t care what you think of the show
[21:02] {eh} nice
[21:02] {UnimportantDouche} Obviously
[21:02] [MLG] i just don’t need you to repeat it over and over
[21:02] {Gary} He’s just bitting.
[21:02] {eh} ml of g…
[21:03] {UnimportantDouche} if you just want to talk to hear yourself
speak, sing in the shower. But if you want an audience, start to care
what they want.
[21:03] {Gary} What do you want?
[21:03] {Gary} Be specific.
[21:03] {Iceman2469} he hates scotch
[21:03] {geoff} he wants to jack off to ana’s voice
[21:03] {Gary} Sorry we offended you and your sensibilities.
[21:03] {Iceman2469} he likes whiskey
[21:03] {geoff} and dudes
[21:03] {AnaAesthetic}
[21:03] {UnimportantDouche} Interesting topics of discussion, some humor,
and not any of whatever you spent the last hour wasting my time with
[21:03] {Gary} That’s really constructive!
[21:04] {eh} hmmm
[21:04] {eh} so you’d rather hear ?
[21:04] {eh} topics about ?
[21:04] {geoff} What was wrong with the nasa topic, the bad video
game movie topic, and comic book news?
[21:04] {eh} where should the conversation flow ?

Now watch him grasp for whatever he can without being specific like asked.

[21:04] {UnimportantDouche} Well, I could’ve done without 20 minutes of
straight news that had no interesting commentary with it. Even Howard
doesn’t let Robin ramble

Awesome, he compared us to Howard! I’m using that in the press kit. Thanks, ass! Now give me the monetary compensation that’s compensatory for your egregious criticism…

[21:04] {geoff} right on
[21:05] {geoff} that’s constructive criticism
[21:05] {geoff} that’s good stuff
[21:05] {geoff} can you do me a favor and listen to all the shows on
the network

You have to respect Geoff’s work ethic here. He turned this dude around to a degree just by playing along and showing him some attention that his father wouldn’t, but his father’s friend may have.

[21:05] {UnimportantDouche} And grow some thick skin.
[21:05] {eh} so..ten maybe
[21:05] {geoff} and then email me at somacow@gmail.com
[21:05] {Gary} Thich skin?
[21:05] {Iceman2469} Well Howard is being paid $150million to say
fuck and have strippers in studio
[21:05] {UnimportantDouche} I mean sheesh .. if I whined at people being
a dick to me in e-mail, I would’ve left the Internet years ago.
[21:05] {geoff} then we can break it down, know wut Im sayin’?
[21:05] {Gary} Thick even.
[21:05] {eh} who whinned ?
[21:06] {Gary} When did I ever say you bothered me?
[21:06] {eh} ml of g doesn’t count
[21:06] {UnimportantDouche} Oh, MLG doesn’t count, then I take back the
thick skin comment. =P

Hell, let him confuse people all he wants. Plus, he’s the one who gets all kinds of bent out of shape from something he heard us say. Thick skin? The only reason he has no subcutaneous fat is because it bleeds through what passes for an epidermis on him. People were screaming for him to get kicked, but I needed fodder for my rant.:)- Smarter by far than this douche am I.

[21:06] {eh} k
[21:06] {eh} carry on then
[21:06] {eh} conersations
[21:06] *** UnimportantDouche
(~muchedumb@wikkedwire-4F3D0FF2.tampfl.fios.verizon.net) has quit IRC
[A bientôt]
[21:07] {eh} conversations…what are you interested in..?
[21:07] * Iceman2469 waves goodbye
[21:07] {eh} eh
[21:07] *** UnimportantDouche
(~muchedumb@wikkedwire-4F3D0FF2.tampfl.fios.verizon.net) has joined
#muchedumbre
[21:07] {Iceman2469} too bad
[21:07] {Gary} He should’ve called.
[21:07] {eh} welcome bach
[21:07] {UnimportantDouche} Who?
[21:07] {UnimportantDouche} Me?
[21:07] {eh} you
[21:07] {Gary} Yeah.
[21:07] {UnimportantDouche} Sorry, dude … I only call radio.

But you’ll spend your night listening to us, so we’re flattered! Plus, he knew that he’d get eviscerated on the air with us.

[21:07] {UnimportantDouche} I do Blank Radio once a month, and Blank once in a
While

And I’ll bet their pet name for you is something akin to a witty “Gay Jew Dork” but never to your face, whichever side of it you pretend to present at the moment you amorphous shaped blob of insecurities masquerading as accomplishments…

Let’s do some quick look at meisms now to end this.
[21:08] {eh} you in chicago
[21:08] {UnimportantDouche} Nope
[21:08] {UnimportantDouche} I’m in Florida.
[21:08] {eh} where’s
[21:08] {eh} and you call them
[21:08] {UnimportantDouche} They call me
[21:09] {UnimportantDouche} To talk to me.
[21:09] {UnimportantDouche} Science fiction, comic books
[21:10] {eh} you own a comic book store ?
[21:10] {UnimportantDouche} lol
[21:10] {UnimportantDouche} no
[21:10] {eh} you draw comics
[21:10] {UnimportantDouche} I wish … free comics!
[21:10] {UnimportantDouche} I used to do radio back in high school
[21:11] {UnimportantDouche} I am an entertainment news reporter
[21:11] {eh} in fla…hmmm
[21:11] {Gary} And an all around great guy!
[21:11] {UnimportantDouche} Yeah. w/e lol
[21:11] {UnimportantDouche} I say it like it is
[21:11] {Gary} Tell us more about you.
[21:11] {UnimportantDouche} Doing good, Geoff
[21:11] {UnimportantDouche}
[21:12] {UnimportantDouche} Florida doesn’t offer a lot … but that’s
what the Internet is for.
[21:12] {eh} so…he
[21:12] {eh} is here
[21:12] {UnimportantDouche} And I just put reporters in key markets.
[21:12] {eh} fishing for plugs
[21:12] {UnimportantDouche} Plugs?
[21:12] {UnimportantDouche} My site gets 10,000 unique visitors … every
day. I don’t need them, lol
[21:12] {eh} oh
[21:13] {UnimportantDouche} THAT joke was funny!
[21:13] {Iceman2469} So, Muchedumbre.com got that many hits in 1 day
for our Blackbean Threads
[21:13] {UnimportantDouche} Hits?
[21:13] {UnimportantDouche} I am talking about unique visitors, not hits
[21:13] {Iceman2469} unique Visitors? you mean Child pedophiles?
[21:13] {Mongo} 10k isn’t bad

[21:15] {geoff} right on. If you need any advice or help with podcast
tools, let me know
[21:15] {UnimportantDouche} Thanks, Geoff! I really appreciate it. I
don’t know shit about podcasting, lol

Obviously. You know nothing about radio either. It’s cool that you did high school radio, but that means about as much as completing high school math and trying to teach at a Doctorate level.

[21:15] {UnimportantDouche} This bit is funny.

Of course, I was involved. Funnier by far than you as well.

[21:15] {Iceman2469} Japan’s Naked news with sign language
interperters were fired for not signing but tweaking their nipples
[21:16] {UnimportantDouche} lol
[21:16] {UnimportantDouche} lol
[21:18] {UnimportantDouche} The rest of it is crap

While I agree that your contribution is crap, let’s continue with your hits.

This is it, all him except for set ups…

[21:19] {UnimportantDouche} We used to talk regularly with one of the
creators of that comic book
[21:20] {UnimportantDouche} The new Eureka sets are AWESOME!
[21:20] {UnimportantDouche} I can’t believe how big they are
[21:20] {UnimportantDouche} And I like the actos on that show .. I need
to watch it more
[21:21] {UnimportantDouche} They showed us the new Global Dynamics set,
and I was expecting what we had in the first season
[21:21] {UnimportantDouche} Yeah, the BSG set was real cool!
[21:21] {UnimportantDouche} Brannon Braga is tampering with Wikipedia
[21:22] {UnimportantDouche} I laid on Adama’s couch, lol
[21:22] {UnimportantDouche} And got yelled at, lol
[21:26] {UnimportantDouche} Yeah .. we visited every set in Vancouver,
except Bionic Woman, but we walked by their soundstage
[21:27] {UnimportantDouche} My Ming would be taller, muscular, and
shirtless
[21:28] {UnimportantDouche} While we were in Vancouver, we drove by a
location shoot of “Psych”
[21:28] {UnimportantDouche} The pilot was horrible
[21:28] {UnimportantDouche} Ana! NO DOCTOR WHO!
[21:31] {UnimportantDouche} I’ve never seen the show
[21:31] {UnimportantDouche} I lied to Stan Lee, lol!
[21:31] {UnimportantDouche} Am I going to hell?
[21:32] {UnimportantDouche} I told him I watch the show, lol
[21:34] {UnimportantDouche} Didn’t Comic-Con already happen?
[21:34] {geoff} Orlando Comic Con?
[21:34] {AnaAesthetic} Orlando Comic Con
[21:34] {UnimportantDouche} I didn’t go this year, so maybe my calendar is
off
[21:34] {UnimportantDouche} Oh .. is it related to the real Comic-Con?
[21:35] {UnimportantDouche} I almost went to DragonCon
[21:35] {UnimportantDouche} But I won’t
[21:35] {UnimportantDouche} Peter David, lol!
[21:35] {UnimportantDouche} He’s probably still pissed at me, lol
[21:35] {UnimportantDouche} But who isn’t
[21:36] {UnimportantDouche} At Necro a couple years back, everyone was in
my panels, and not his, lol!
[21:36] {UnimportantDouche} His writing is great, but in person, he’s an
angry old Jew
[21:36] {UnimportantDouche} I’m an angry young Jew, so we don’t get along
[21:36] {UnimportantDouche} I don’t know, I stopped going after last year
when they put some fraud on a panel with me
[21:37] {UnimportantDouche} He claimed he was a spec writer for television
[21:37] {Gary} I’d love to go as a G4 guy but I can’t afford the cut
in pay.
[21:37] {UnimportantDouche} LOL!
[21:38] {UnimportantDouche} I would never live anywhere near Orlando,
hahaha! =P
[21:38] {ShtUpLstnLearn} You have to go to the tasting room at the
brewery before you do your show here
[21:38] {Gary} Hey Jackie! Didja get my PM?
[21:38] {ShtUpLstnLearn} yes!
[21:38] {Gary} YES YES YES!!!
[21:38] {ShtUpLstnLearn} I have responded already
[21:39] {UnimportantDouche} YES OH GOD YES!
[21:39] {ShtUpLstnLearn} I will go with you
[21:39] {ShtUpLstnLearn} dood
[21:39] {ShtUpLstnLearn} we bought a CASE of beer
[21:39] {UnimportantDouche} Sorry … got caught up in the moment

People stopped paying attention, so he quietly left. Sorry to make you read all this, but there’s a reason! Do me a favor and take his words and craft a positive spin on the show for me. Just make sure he actually said it, but you can mix and match anywhere you wish. I’ll post it on our front page and even give him credit. Thanks!

People stopped paying attention, so he quietly left. Sorry to make you read all this, but there’s a reason! Do me a favor and take his words and craft a positive spin on the show for me. Just make sure he actually said it, but you can mix and match anywhere you wish. I’ll post it on our front page and even give him credit. Thanks!