Just sayin’…

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Dear Mr. Lacking Common Sense,

If he were poor, the only reason a woman would even think of starting any type of romantic relationship would be if he were extremely attractive. Therefore the passionate rapid starting sex that happend only ONCE, would have continued. Continued often and a lot.

Yes, I know I said the same thing there.

Yes, I know I’m right.

Yes, I know I’m smart.

No, this flab is not extra brains.

~~~*insert flabby outro here*~~~

My question is concerning my girlfriend & I. You see, we’ve only had sex once and we’ve been seeing each other for 2 months. It seems like we got off to a hot fiery start where we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other and then it all went down hill on the romance side for the last month and a half. How do I ask her to have sex with me more.

Sincerely Yours,

Hot &Bothered.

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Dear Mr. &Bothered,

Please do not waste your time asking for more sex. It’s not going to happen. What you got there is a classic gold digging whore.

Yes, I said whore. Not just a gold digger, but a gold digging whore.

How do I know? Let’s do some basic math. 1st, you said you have only been together for 2 months. Then you say your relationship has gone downhill for a month & a half. That means she fucked you in the first half month of your relationship. A half a month is also known as 2 weeks. She is obviously a whore.

After giving it up so quickly and passionately, you state that you two haven’t done anything since. This leads me to believe you are unattractive. If you were so freaking irresistible to the point she just had to have you in the first 2 weeks, why would the sex stop? The type of passion you alluded to, doesn’t just disappear over night.

And don’t give me this, I’m average looking crap…in women’s eyes it’s either you’re hot or you’re fucking unworthy to look at….UNLESS…That’s right, unless you got money!!!!!! Bitches will look at you all day if you buy them shit.

She’s out for the cash bro.

She is a gold digging whore.

Either that, or you just really sucked in bed.

Even if that were the case, she’s only sticking around for your wallet.

~~~*insert flabby outro here*~~~