Hed Hurt
By Skunk Ape • May 11th, 2008my hed hert so badd.
i dintno wut pubb croll wuz, but i gode aneehow. i shud not hav gon. my hed hurtd ystrday and it hert tooday. i tel yoo storee.
we gode owt aftur darktime lassday wen i teld yoo i wud go owt wid remmee. remmee teld me to carree my munkee munees wid me and we gode to niteklub. wen i gode to niteklub befor, i onlee drikd brown watur bottls or redd watur wen i gode to lanee ki. but remmee brot me sumting cald ‘chilld stowlee’ wen we getted to niteklub.
chilld stowlee tastd jusslyk iceewatur and i drinkted 5 becuz i thurstee. befor i node it, my hed feeld funee and i hav trubbl wokkin. but den wee startd dancin and dem wimmin havin fun widdus and remmee sed he need to get his ’shwerv on.’ i dunno wut dat ment. it sumting he hurd on travuls.
aneehow, we stayd at niteklub for sumtime untill hectur getted dere and den we leffted and gode to anudder playss. wen we getted dere, remmee bring me sumtin cald goldshlaggur. it neet drink becuz it hav littl shinee bitts in it. i drinkted sum of dem and wee leffted aggen.
we wokk down dat hard blak rivr to anudder playss and in dis playss dere ar yungpeepul playin moosic wid stiks and strings and cans and bels. dem singurs are playin moosic wid hard beet, lyk munkee moovee jeffparker sended me. befor longy, yungpeepul startd bouncin off eech uthur and hiting uthur yungpeepul wile dem dancin.
remmee and me getted owt dere wid hectur and we cleerd dat flor. moosic playrs stoppt playin for a brake and we sitted in dat kornr drinkin sumting cald pattrone. i not rembur too much aftur dat, but we wokked bak to my mownd and i sleept. hectur leevd moosicklub wid sumwun cald groopee. i not metted groopee befor.
den, like a stoopid skunkape, i gode widdem and wee did the saym thing lassnite. my mowf dry, my hed hert, my munkee munee almoss gon and i sor from all dat dancin. remmee sed he wantd too go toonite but i sed no. him and hectur ar good frends now.
1 of my bestest frends on computer, jackioh, askd me a favr. skunkape happee to oblyje.
tooday is jackioh bestest frend, debe, burthday. jackioh wantud me to say happee burthday to debe … ‘happee burthday, debe!!!’
jackioh sed debe is a big fan from orlando. i not no wut fan is, i not no wut orlando is and i think burthday is day wen a purson is born. but i no hapee and i hapee if jackioh hapee. she such good frend.
for the rekurd, skunkape born in summur.
storee tyme … gess wut happun at skool lassnite. i kreept up undr windo and my pikkl bukket gon. den, teechur sneekted upp and kechted me dere. at furst, i not node wut too do. den she askted me hoo i wuz. i teld hur i skunkape and dat i lurnin hur langwaje. she sed dat she not beeleevd in skunkapes and i not node wut she tokkin abowt. she sed she dint thinkd we wur reel … now she no. wy peepul not thinkd skunapes reel? we evryware.
lookit, jeffry teechted me shift kee. he sed if i mash shift kee and den tipe, i mayk difrunt letturs. lookit … !@#$%^&*()}{?>< … neet huh? o, and kweschun mark noo to. it meen i askted a kweschun. mebee i lurn dat befor, but den i furgetted.
den, teechur dood sumthing weerd … she givd me a book. a inglush book. it bak at my mownd. now i can folo alongy wid klass. i gonto lurn inglush so fasty now. she sed i not kan come intoo klass tho.
hapee burthday aggen, debe. hav fun. liv, laf, luv.
i sorree i not rited in awile. i ben gon. i furgetted my fone.
hectur an remmee and me gode to kees. kees ar littl ilands in florida. dem nyss and it sunnee. but dere watur al arownd and dere good niteklubs.
so hectur getted a fyoo dayz off and he sed he wantud too go too the kees. so hectur getted a box dat flote on watur and we gode to kees.
dere not much mor storees too tel than wen we gode to lannee ki wid dem dooods. i alreddee teld yoos dat storee aneehow.
but dere wuz 1 neet storee … we wuz in watur box and we wuz dyvin. skunkapes ar natrul swimers and we wuz swimin. den, sumthing cald a a barakuda comed up too the bote and i wuz in the watur. i seed him dere and i reechted owt and snached him cuz i wuz hungree. we fited widdeech udder and he skrachted my arm. he getted aways.
so we gode to stor and hectur getted a box of whyt rappins and fixted my arm.
yoo no wut? dere ar mor storees to tell. i tel yoo anudder 1 tomoro. it wuz fun tyms.
hectur in good shayp. he got manee mussels and he alwayses hav wimmin come by to see him.
he alwayses tokkin abowt wurkin owt and i thot that wuz wen we went owtsyd to mo lonns. so, i thot that wuz wy he in good shayp. that tru, but he also teld me abowt liftin wayts. he sed he sit in his howss and liftses wayts. he teld me wayts is hevee circls that yoo pick up and put down. so he invytd me to lift wayts wid him.
lassnite, we liftd wayts and he dint hav enuff for me to pick up. i pikted up all dem wayts and hectur supprizd. i teld him skunkapes natrulee strongy.
i no i says dis alot, but i soree dat i not ben riting enuff on heer and tellin mor storees. i gets emale in my skunkape box and it sez dem peepul wants to heer mor storees. so i promiss dat i start riting wen sun come up and wen sun go down frum now on.
but lookit, i gettin mor intrestd in my cuzzins and i finded anudder pictur of cuzzin from snoland. see heer:
him smily cuzzin, and dem cald yettee by peepul. see? we ar diffrunt and saym jusslike peepul. dere all diffrunt kinds of skunkapes arownd the wurld.
jeffry teld me abowt wurld and i lurning abowt wurld in class. wurld is ware we liv. teechur sed it big bloo marbul. i not node wut marbul meen, but den i see pictur of wurld on wall. dis wurld is in middl of blak nothin, and it prettee bloo, jusslyk dis yettee’s ayes. neet, huh?
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