The Harbinger

When all of this “we are fucking up the environment with our emissions” crap started back in the day, it was all about the ozone. However the problem they ran into with the ozone angle is that nobody fucking cares about some shit they have never heard of… “Ozone what?” So the hippies had to go back to the drawing board and they came up with global warming and “greenhouse gasses”. The whole GW thing is a bit more tactile, people can get their “hands” on it.

Try this…walk out side and look up at the sky…do you see a hole in the sky. No of course you don’t cause you can’t fucking see ozone, it is clear and shit, but try explaining that to Joe and Jane Merican, but you tell Joe that it is hotter than it was last year and he is gonna say “ya know sumin, it do feel hotter”…see tactile. Of course Joe has no fucking idea if it is hotter or not, but he sure as fuck thinks he knows it is hotter and the next you know the stupid fuck is driving a fucking Prius.

Anyway…the thing is as far as I know there is still a big fucking hole in the ozone layer, and I am pretty fucking sure that it is still the real problem…if there really is a problem. In fact all of the “symptoms” that are being attributed to GW are really caused by the hole in the ozone. This is actually pretty easy to prove…no really. OK I guess I should say “easy”, as in relative to how easily you can prove anything that relates to this whole global warming bull shit, but I digress…

Proof!

The hippies say we need to worry about global warming cause the ice cap is melting right? By the way would it really be all that bad if we had some melting ice…I think it would be nice to live a little closer to the ocean. Well where is the ice cap anyway…the ice cap is up there North of Canadia right? And…where is there a hole in the ozone? Exactly North of Canadia! Proof that the ozone thing is the cause of “global warming”.

Oh and it gets better!

Once I made this discovery I commissioned some research. Yeah I have been working on this theory for a while now and the data has finally come in. The fucked up thing the fucking hippies may have been onto something. The problem is with emissions, but there is no fucking way for the junk coming out of our stacks here to get to the area where we have the hole. So how are emissions fucking with the ozone you ask…

Well our data indicates that there is a huge, I mean seriously fucking huge, factory smack fucking dab right under the fucking hole. OK the truth is we can’t find the fucking factory yet, but based on the data we have collected, there is something there fucking polluting the fuck out of the whole fucking north pole region. Based on the amount of pollution this place is putting out it should be as big as fucking New York City, but the fuckers can’t seem to find it. Every time they think they have found it…nothing…if I didn’t know any better I would say it is fucking magic or something…

Emil Gee is is a GAS.
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