The Harbinger

So last week I hear the same tired argument about voting in the national elections. When asked who I am voting for, I simply said “not Hilary Clinton, if she’s in the running by then. Have no idea otherwise, as they are usually all a joke.” Her stance on video games as opposed to adequate parenting makes me ill. In virtual bed with Sen. Lieberman, who lacks any fundamental understanding of video games to begin with, she’s made me cast my vote against her. However, I refuse to cast a vote to keep someone out of office if there is no one in legitimate contention for the position that speaks to me. And it’s been a while since any politician on the national level did so…that was a viable elective to the post.

Lieberman actually got in the middle of a video game console war to get what he wanted. Back in the 90s, the game Mortal Kombat made his skin crawl with its “realistic depictions of extreme violence.” Trusting Nintendo to not make shit up, Lieberman presented to a special council his most damning evidence in banning violent video games. (Never mind who he was considering appointing to the seats that decide what a violent video game is, the writing was practically on the wall that he was targeting ALL video games with a hint of violence. So even Nintendo wasn’t safe, which they erroneously thought they were.) He presented a piece of footage, provided by Nintendo, of the SEGA Genesis home version of Mortal Kombat with every Fatality and speck of blood in-gory-tact. Unfortunately for them, their dim witted dalliance was exposed as a fraud when SEGA revealed that the footage in question was from the Arcade version, not their version. Apparently the pimply faced pizza weasel at the local Dorks-A-Hoy Arcade does a much better job at parenting than the actual parents, as the council found no problem with this. Nintendo thought that the cuffs would be slapped on the edgy and semi-violent Sonic the Hedgehog, but that Mario would forever try to save the Princess from Magic Mushrooms. Luckily for anyone that likes games (and freedom), this crisis was averted. Side bar, since 2001 all home consoles have a feature where you can set the parental controls through a very simple and easy interface. So even if little Johnny gets Panty Raper Joy Fuck Tentacle Cock Reamer 50, he can’t play it because the parental setting and the ESRB have it locked out. Your password, make it difficult and check it out every so often. That way you can do your job as a parent and feel good, and not have to have a bunch of politicians stepping in and doing it for you. Self-Actualization, it feels great.

So, back to my remorse at having to vote against someone instead of for someone…say all you want about “if you do vote third party, you send a strong message that in the future blah blah blah.” Bullshit. Until the two dominant parties give up the image and façade that they are the only two true parties, the third party system will forever be fucked. It took an act of a Billionaire to counter this the last time it truly mattered. The country sees it as a race between two parties and the five hundred third parties (why are they all third parties, anyway? So that you’ll be overwhelmed and have no alternative but to vote for one of the big two.) They fight for scraps. Ron Paul is being verbally eviscerated by either side of the political barbed wire, electrically charged fence because he’s not ONE OF THEM. But he’d like you to think that he is. So, if neither of the two up for election is going to be anyone I want in office, then it’s my civic duty to vote for the one that least offends me? No. Oh, so I should vote to keep one of them out of office because I don’t agree with them? Tell me again how this isn’t throwing away my vote? Voting to keep someone out of office…you know what, I’d rather have the bank account of Ross Perot than to merely act like him, because that’s what he did in the 90s…played the spoiler. It worked, but that’s not my job.

“Oh, well if you don’t vote, you can’t bitch.” Bullshit. I can bitch about not having someone to vote for, thank you very much. And fuck you if you think merely voting makes you eligible to bitch about the ‘system.’ That vacuous thinking belies the very nature of our National elections. You’d have to start with electing state officials that will actually listen to you, and will help in the state delegates assigned to go nationally. You’d also need them to be open to the idea of third parties. Good luck. Then, our votes actually go to ‘persuade’ the Electors, who in turn cast their vote for the actual presidency. The wonderful Electoral College, because you’re too stupid to trust with that kind of power. Popular vote? That’s served us so well in the past, now hasn’t it? Especially in 2000. So I vote locally, fuck nationally…until you give me a candidate I can agree on with for a majority of issues, not just one or two, and who doesn’t want to push an agenda on something that may seem trivial to you but is important to me (and those are the kinds of political activism you can achieve a modicum of satisfaction and prosperity in, so I believe in them) based on crap and isn’t just a “I hate them the least” type, my vote is the absolute loudest and possibly most sincere in the bunch…abstaining. You hear it every election, over and again, and it’s not because I’m lazy.

“If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.”—Rush

That is my fucking vote.

In the ongoing story of Andrew Allred, the guy who killed his ex and his ex friend…all’s quiet on that murderous front. He allegedly went before a judge once and is scheduled to do so again in November and has been on suicide watch. The first inquiry into this saw Allred charged with murder, armed burglary, aggravated battery and criminal mischief. No one I know has even tried to contact him.

I signed onto AIM for the first time in months the other day. Andrew’s screen name popped up as on-line. What in the Hairy Fuck?

The Notorious MBI and the Orlando Weekly are going at it…the latter accusing the former of retaliatory investigating. I have mutual disinterest and accompanying disdain (it’s difficult, but I manage) for both, but let me play around a bit.

The MBI busts some strip clubs and parlors, which may or may not have been advertisers with the Weekly, and then the paper launches an investigation on them. Could be retaliatory, correct? However, even if they were advertisers and the paper wasn’t just “sticking up for the little guy” which closely resembles “drumming up interest in our character”, what the Weekly did wasn’t unethical like it would be for the MBI. They have a right to investigate and report on what they find, right? Not so clear cut with a supposed authority figure, answerable to few, that has a lot of resources and power that should probably be allocated to more substantive crimes than ‘aiding prostitution’.

So the Weekly launches a tirade that I guess doesn’t entirely approximate an editorial on the history of the Orlando MBI and some of their reported and alleged nefarious mis-deeds and assumed grudges. Again, under the circumstances of having three employees nabbed at a job fair, when the agency supposedly had what they needed weeks ago, I can’t blame them for this swift action. Then, though, they throw the Sentinel, Embarq, the Globe and others under the proverbial bus by doing an ad comparison with what they were told they were busted for. All’s fair in love and war and all that, but did it ever occur to them that when they are reporting the lack of returned phone calls from other papers and companies, that maybe…just maybe it’s because they, too, are under investigation and want to keep a low profile?

I mean, come on…the ads in the back of the Weekly have been a running (mucus down your syphilitic leg) joke for years now. Strip Clubs and Cabbies have used them for years to direct travelers new in town to their degenerate needs when they didn’t want to trust or deal with them. Sure, you can find worse things winding up in aggregates on the internet…fucking Tub Girl is out there!

Is the MBI wrong in this? Perhaps not in some aspects of this case, but they sure don’t smell right. Between the strip club antics and the alleged vendettas they’ve wreaked through the years, I’m certainly not enthusiastic about them buying a bunch of white hats to wear without a two ton weight falling out of the blue because God suddenly took notice. However, they just released supposed evidence that would indicate one employee of the Weekly discussing how to advertise a company as a single girl, and the finer points of hiding the naughty parts in official sounding language. Is it true? We’ll find out I suppose. The part here that’s important for both sides is that I am right and I know the truth.

Not really, I don’t know shit. Hell, none of it could be even be true. Just wanted to write it all out and pretend, get it published and after years of seeing it, finally experiencing how it felt. Ouch, wicked burn. Now I know what that feels like too.:)

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