The Harbinger

Well here we are again. A bunch of muchevivorers gathering for a friendly game of…muchevivor! This time we’re in Fiji and while this season has not been branded as “racial” they sure make it look that way. 5 African Americans, 5 Asian Americans, 4 3 5 oh I can’t tell but 10 white/latinos. Wait….1, 2, 3, 4…there’s only 9! What the hell?

In the first 30 seconds we find out. Some girl pussed out when in Fiji but not yet on the air. She just couldn’t handle the unknown! So here’s 19 of us muchevivorers and we’re ready to have a good time minus 1. Here we go!

There’s snakes. Lots of snakes! Holy crap just thousands of millions of sea snakes! And they’re on an island of cannibals? I have to give it to CBS…they upped it a notch this year, they’re actually trying to kill the muchevivors! All 19 are directed to a location with a cave and some water that is found. Beautiful location. But where’s Jeff? Hmmm. We meet James , Rocky, Boston Man, GayAlienBartender and Andria, Dre, Dreamz, Snychz who says he got his name from “strive and achievement”. Huh? Ooh! There’s Jeff! He’s all hanging out of a plane. What is he doing? A grand entrance like the finale? Is he going to sky dive onto Fiji?? Oh, no, he’s throwing something overboard. It’s a package… So most of the team gets in the boat and goes out there. Each of the strong boys like Boo further known as (fka) BooFromLou, Mookie fka Mighty_Moo and Edgardo fka Joey Baggariceandbeans, try to open up this box. They’re throwing a huge rock on it, throwing it on the rock. Then along comes Yau-man fka Lil_Man and he takes he box and on one hit *bam*, it opens. “It’s simple physics, you have to know its weakest point”. I have to apologize right now, this writer may be a little jaded from her last season’s picks of Gator_wonton and Gator_Juan and I might have underestimated this cool Lil_Man. So in the box is an architectural design (some people call them blueprints) and instructions to getting lumber to make a shelter complete with kitchen, outhouse, the works! Alex, fka Salsalvr knows this game…he knows it’s too good to be true. If you give them all these apples something bad will happen…(?)

So a bunch of guys. Hey! Why just guys? What the women aren’t good enough and should stay in camp? Oh whatever you primal pieces of shi…oh, there’s a girl..Erica fka Mongica is helping out with her frolicious self. You go girl! So they follow the map and GayAlienBartender says, “we found limber at the top of the hill!”. Yes GayAlienBartender, from whence the mighty lumberjacks of yesteryear world cut down trees and yelled, “tumber!”.

Back at the base camp Sylvia fka Sylviarla has the plans and is definately standing out. She is an architect so she has those people moving! Come on, no time for coconut water tea stuff that Lil_Man has somehow concocted out of the island wares…we must move people, MOVE! That’s not fair…Sylviarla isn’t screaming…she’s SINGING! Every phrase, question, statement, command, even yawn! Oh my, she also sings some big words! GayAlienBartender stops her. He needs Sylviarla to stop when she says the big words and teach them to him. Today’s word is askew. Defined by Sylviarla as “not orthogonal”. Oh nice on Sylviarla, just kick the man while he’s down!

Mongica’s feeling it out, yo. She is talking to Jessica fka Tawnica looking already at alliances before teams are even made! Then suddenly it’s night time! And in true muchevivor, “yes, we run the weather as we are gods” style, it rains. And after all that hard work on day 1 they don’t have a roof. Great planning gods of Muchevivor!

Day 2 and the crew gets to work on a roof and floor. Lil_Man makes his lemon hot tea concoction and has even made coconut bowls for everyone and a funnel! He definitely is the professor of this Gilligan’s Island. One of the girls (I couldn’t tell which but one of the little skanky skinny ones) asks him where he is from and he says “Borneo, I was raised there and lived off land like this” and she says “oh so you’re like a native” Yep, just around the corner…OF THE GLOBE (yes, both are in the area of the Pacific but if you look on a globe they are as close as we are to England and we are nothing like those Limeys!). Tawnica says it’s like vacation out here and she’s scared of what will come next.

Snychz was homeless as a youngster. He stayed in the back of soup kitchens digging for scraps of food which he relates is “kinda like now”. And then he “wants to bring my family from home, here”!!! What? To remind them of the oh so wonderful life they used to have behind the soup kitchen? Good memories, dawg. It’s night time and Snychz says to the camera that he wants to have fun with everybody and be lighthearted so he goes and yells at everyone and gets extremely loud. Whatever, Mr Moody! GayAlienBartender is there in his night time scottish golfers cap to try to calm him down and ends up getting a little upset with him. He doesn’t like showing his emotions, he had enough of that when he was younger and he is over that now. That’s good…get over those emotions! Stifle them and be a man!

It’s challenge time! Hey, there’s Jeff! Hi Jeff! Hey Jeff, you spell your name stupid, stupidly, in a stupid manner! So they all talk to Jeff and Salsalvr points out that Sylviarla was the leader as she is an architect. The whole rest of them agree so Sylviarla is pulled out to split up the teams. One team is green (Moto) and one is orange (Ravu). At first it seems she is being even. One girl here, one there. But there is definitely a fatty team and a not forming. Teams are as follows: Moto-Cassandra fka CFro, Liliana fka Crowdiana, Stacy fka Shtupcy, Lisi fka Siriusi, Snychz, BooFromLou, Gary , Big Gary, Papa Smurf fka GSto, Salsalvr, and Edgardo, Big Ed Joey Baggariceandbeans. OK, can I just say that these nicknames are killing me here folks! I have names that took me literal minutes to come up with and now you are renaming the people’s real names with nicknames and I already have other names! Even Jeff had to ask he-who-is-now-known-as-GayAlienBartender what name he wanted to go by so Jeff could call him that! (*editor’s note: If you don’t know who you are, please see the board or PM Gator_Jen)

Ravu is one strong team. We have Michelle fka Howelle, Mongica, Rita aka DaRitan, Tawnica, GayAlienBartender *chocodiles!*, Earl fka MyNameIsGator_Earl, Lil_Man, Anthony fka Shiftony, and Mighty_Moo. Wow, definitely a difference here! So Sylviarla has to now go to Exile Island with thousands of sea snakes. Nice, Jeff, put the dragon lady out to deal with the snakes! That’s not racist at ALL! But she doesn’t have to be in the challenge. But she will have to join the losing tribe after tribal council. But she will get an idol clue. Ouch. Off she goes.

The challenge: They are playing for immunity and also the beach! The winners get the architecturally sound beach shelter place (that Sylviarla won’t get to be in…) and housewarming gifts including a shower, couch, hammocks, and cutlery. The losers…a new beach with a bucket and a machete. Ow!!! It hurts! This is definitely a must win challenge! Tawnica and Howelle are on the chariot for Ravu with Siriusi and Shtupcy on Moto’s. The rest of the team must pull them (why the hell did Moto choose Siriusi??) and the 2 members will collect bags of puzzle pieces to help them with another puzzle to get a knife and cut the rope to raise their flag. Moto has their first bag. Moto still in the lead at bag #2. Ravu’s Tawnica can’t get the first bag untied so Howelle steps up for #2 and 3. Ravu is coming in from behind, “Mush! Mush!”. Oh no, run Jeff run! Get out of the way! Ravu is in the lead! They are putting together their first puzzle and MyNameIsGator_Earl is very supportive from the ground where he is catching his breath. Oh my, Moto is now in the lead. Wow, Moto wins. Tawnica couldn’t put together that last puzzle. So the skinny strong ones are going to the crap island and the fatties get the comfort. Nice.

Sylviarla thought Jeff was joking about the sea snakes but oh no, there they were. This is the point, dear readers, when I would have been up a tree…but I digress. Sylviarla looks around and finds the clue for the immunity idol. It says that the idol is not here (Exile Island) but back at camp. Oh crap, you’ve got to be kidding! So she has a night with the sea snakes then back to camp where she will have to help them all build something and then somehow search for the idol with no additional info. Poor girl!

Back on Ravu, they are finding their new home and everyone is very positive about how beautiful it is. Thank god they have Lil_Man as he can help them make some cups! Mongica is being, well, a bitch. She is trying to bring everyone down, revenge for the white man! Seriously though, the rest of the team is trying to take what is obviously a very shitty situation and make it as positive as they can. Discussions start on eliminations. GayAlienBartender says it should be the weakest which is DaRitan and Tawnica and Mongica agree. Great plan but at this stage of the game with 9 people, 3 won’t do it guys! Mongica goes over and talks with MyNameIsGator_Earl and some others who are talking about voting out Tawnica to which Mongica kind of says no to. She then returns to GayAlienBartender to tell him of the plan but they agree they will not vote out Tawnica. Way to make yourselves stick out and an easy target guys! Tawnica feels safe with GayAlienBartender as she knows she lost on the puzzle. MyNameIsGatorEarl and Mighty_Moo think she should go. Will they have the support?

Tribal Council. Jeff calls GayAlienBartender by his birth name after going through all of that at the challenge to find out what he wants to be called. Mongica starts with the philosophical “if we lose the next challenge then we’ll lose again”. Wow *clap clap*. Jeff asks Mighty_Moo how he is voting and he said “well, we have to see if she or he will be ok to lose before bringing in Sylviarla”. Ooh, he gave it away that it is a she. See right there? “she or he”? It’s never that way. I don’t know why…saving the best for last, smallest to biggest (word). Hmmm…discuss amongst yourselves. Everyone says they will be shocked to go including Tawnica and DaRitan who are the biggest bets at this point for going home first (and therefore getting the 10.00 push prize).

The vote:

Mighty_Moo

DaRitan

Tawnica

Lil_Man

that’s one vote each for Mighty_Moo, DaRitan, Tawnica, and Lil_Man

Tawnica, that’s 2 votes Tawnica

3 votes Tawnica

1st person voted out (and winner of their $10.00 back)-Tawnica.

Oh, and they can’t take their torches back with them as they don’t have fire yet. BURN! (well, or no burn).

Next week, BooFromLou will “hurt himself out of the game”. (quote courtesy of Snychz)

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