The Harbinger

So, one kid has moved out and the other one works in the evenings, as does his Dad. When I get home, there’s only me and The Dog (his Pa gave him that name). Who the hell wants to cook for a family then? And since the dog - ACK! - The Dog has gotten better, I ain’t cookin’ for him, either. Nevermore.

While I haven’t been reduced to dinner time frozen dinners for one, I have knoshed on just a sammich. But that means Hubby get’s nothing and needs to fend for himself. A man gets tired of fried eggs, corned beef hash, chili or hot dogs, y’know? This here guy is a MUCH better cook that I. But that’s another article (would someone remind me of that?)

I really need to devise a menu plan that allows for good tasting re-warm-able meals that transcend into leftovers for my brown-bag lunches. Here are a few of my limited ideas:

Spaghetti - nuke a bowl
Lasagna - ditto
Chicken Tenders - add to some raw spinach or lettuce and VIOLA! Salad!
Meat Loaf- Sammiches Could there be anything BETTER?
Beef Tips with gravy and noodles - nuke a bowl
Sausage Gravy and biscuits - ditto, again

Then there’s the “diet plan,” where I par-boil a TON of vegetables, chill ‘em and munch all day long. This last week, I nibbled on carrots, baby asparagus and broccoli. For two friggin’ days. By the end of the workday, all I wanted was a goddamned greasy burger and french fries. Catsup/Kechup/Catch-up! notwithstanding… *eyeroll*

Pork chops don’t transcend well. Neither does fried fish or chicken (unless you dish it into a salad). There’s a whole fresh-fried-warm-and-crunchy thing involved. It’s sad, really. Fried food SHOULD be the freezable-est food. It tastes the bestest, doesn’t it? Eff the that… Who want’s fried food anyhow?

Taking a whole avocado to work and making some toasted flatbread in one of the three toasters has crossed my mind, but that truly isn’t something that would be considered a meal for my men. Particularly when one adds some walnuts and/or a slice of pineapple. “How damn gay is that?” *Howey? He was a TRUCKER, for chrissakes* “Where’s the MEAT? Should I peel some potatoes?”

Ummm.

OK. I’m drunk now.

Would someone else PLEASE finish this article? There used to be a whole bunch more, but a Poltergeist (or one of my kids) appeared and, uhhh, something got all fucked up. Imagine THAT!?!!!

Oh, and I need to pee.

Mama Juggs is
Email this author | All posts by Mama Juggs