The Harbinger

Hey, you expert assholes,

I have never been fucking invited to one of these luau fiascos. Can you give me some expert fucking insight to what exactly it is that goes on at one of these shitty things? Just one memory; I don’t need you to get too goddamn wordy on me.

-Rita Skeeter

SunShineLvr73:
THELOOKONCHUCKSFACEWHENHEACCIDENTALLYPOKEDTHELIDOSTRIPPERINTHEPOOTERHOLE

Jaffe:
There came a moment, as dusk threatened to rob the light from us, that I stood with my new wife, gazing into the somewhat choppy waters of the Cape. As the dying sunbeams glittered across the water, we searched for the lightning fast flashes of smooth, dark-bodied dolphins, cavorting in joy at the tidal fish bonanza, or chasing the returning day-trippers making their slow and steady progress home. The air, miserably humid throughout the day, had just cooled, and the wind felt like a stinging caress on my sun-beaten skin. When my wife would spot a dolphin, she would hurriedly whisper, “ooh, there!”, and wiggle closer to me.

Oh, and it was nice to see you guys, too.

Gator Jen:
First I’m happy I had a memory of it. I drank so much beer but kept it at such a steady level I remember the whole thing! I think my favorite memory was the beer, the beer, the food, the friends, the dolphins. Yeah, it was the dolphins. The rest were all so great but dolphins trump everything. Although the food was really really good! And so was the beer (thanks Gretchen for the oranges!) and so were the friends…
Damn, why can’t I ever make a decision!?!?!?!

Tawy Pirkicone:
My favorite luau memory is never being fucking invited. I plan on making this stupid ass fact change this year. You just wait.

EKG:
A good one was when George’s daddies friends let Saddam rule b/c he kept Iran in check. Another favorite was when we trained Bin Laden so he would fight the Russians. But the BEST memory of all was when we armed the insurgents to help us fight AL Q. Yeah, like that’s not going to back fire Roll Eyes
whaddaya want.. I’ve never been to the luau.

MLG:
Leo Luau? This is not ringing any bells…is this something I should know about? So…let me see, it was a Luau. OH! I got it…if in fact I was there then I am sure my favorite memory would have been the hott hula dancers…unless the hula dancers where not all that hott, then that might explain why I have blocked this memory.

Starla:
I have never been to a Leo Luau, sadly, so I can not describe my best memory from the event of the year. My best guess though would be that there is an abundance of debauchery and possibly people loosing there underwear in the sea. Ask me this question same time next year!

MamaJuggs:
Well, thank heavens I’ve been to at least ONE… It’s a wonder I remember anything!

There’s Gator Jen & Jaffe’s mystery potato salad,
Meeting MLG and Kev9 for the umpteenth time and not remembering them AGAIN,
Redneck pools,
Kites,
Getting lost going to the hotel,
Trying to steer clear of LilBit in the Cement Pond,
Snuggling and snoring,
Breakfast,
Breaking down on the Beach Line,
Emptying out the pick-em-up truck.

JackiOh:
One memory? ONE? That is really hard; I have so many. From the first year, I remember mostly George pelting my mother with beach balls, then apologizing profusely when he realized it was my mother. From the second one I remember Lynne screaming, “The pregnant girl is driving ME home.” And how could we forget the baller showering the strippers with dolla billz? I will never, ever forget that sight. Also notable, is me and my fellow Leo, Sue attempting to play badminton. Let me just remind y’all, “We suuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

calidave:
My favorite moment was getting drunk of Captain and diet and jumping into the kiddie pool

Rhoadrunner:
I thought the object of the Lulu was to not remember… what I don’t remember didn’t happen, right? Like, that stripper that did that thing… uh, wow… And the redneck ice buckets (kiddie pools…) ah, memories…

What about you, dear readers? What are some of your favorite luau memories?!

md is
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