Whatever happened to BootieBeerGirl?
By md • May 6th, 2007Gator_Jen:
Who the fuck is bootiebeergirl? Is that that chick that thought she was hot shit at Steve’s benefit even though she had never been out before and hasn’t been since? Everyone knows the only chicks that count are the ones that have been around for a while. And the only chicks that are hot shit are the ones that participate in Muchevivor.
And if she asks to participate in the future, I’ll say no anyway, bootiebeergirl is way too long. I already have enough trouble with fucking Joeybaggariceandbeanshottleggssoulglo!
Emil Gee:
OK, so last we heard BBG needed $600 to go visit her sick Aunt…right? Maybe not…no maybe we heard from her since then. I bet I could look it up, but then if I am wrong that will fuck up my answer…fuck it. Last we heard BBG need some cash so she could get to Jacksonville or something, when she didn’t collect quite enough money to meet her goal from the board that left her no choice. OK well she had lots of choices…cause like she could have taken the bus or rode a bike or any number of other things…fuck it…I have no fucking idea where she has been.
Jaffe:
Her account got stolen when she left her log in enabled on PC #5 at the Seminole County Central Library Branch.
L33T Hax0red
Rican:
I have a few theories as to the whereabouts of our resident psycho, BootieBeerTard…
1-She has left town to become the new strength and conditioning coordinator for the Yankees.
b-While on a trip to see her beloved Gammy in Utah, she was frozen in carbonite, held captive by Redham the Hutt for failure to pay back a bet on a Lark-pod race.
3-Free time at the mental hospital is only 2 hours, and someone is ALWAYS hogging the computer, so she can’t post.
Either way…we hope she comes back soon…it’s always fun to pick on the less fortunate!
TawnyPirkicone:
What in fucking hell are you talking about? I am BootieBeerGirl!!! You know that!
Gary:
Where in the hell has BootieBeerGirl been? In a constant state of flux in the ether waiting and biding her time to when the insurrection begins and vapidity becomes the whole of the truth in this great nation? Waiting to be digested in Russ’ colon and born anew? Gaying it up in Gaytown with the Gayest of Gaieties in Gayville juxtaposed with the Council of Gaymen in Straight Louis?
Sitting for weeks in front of her dilapidated computer vigilantly waiting in the presence of a blank screen at muchedumbre because it warned her to press submit once and once only and she didn’t want to fuck up the internet? I don’t care.
Starla:
I believe BootieBeerGirl became so bummed about Russ not noticing her long, flowing blond hair that she decided to check herself into rehab for her RRR addiction. I believe she locked herself in her room initially with her rocking parrot and spent a few days listening to “Shed A Tear Cuz I’m Missing You”. After even her parrot told her to get a life an intervention was staged by her stuffed animals. She spent the last 7 months in the HotDogSoup rehab center for addicts of RRR. A few of our board members have been successful graduates of the rehab center and have gone on to live fulfilling lives where they don’t care so much about the Monsters. All the best Bootie in your future endeavors Monsters free!
ekg:
Cheney and Bush weren’t getting anywhere with the water-boarding at Gitmo so BootieBeerGirl was brought in to reason with the detainees instead. 14 out of 16 went crazy and told everything within 19 minutes of her entering the room. The other 2 died from exposure. Then Cheney’s sent her to check up on Gonzales shortly afterwards. She and Karl Rove were seen leaving the AG’s apartment shortly after his testimony of 71 ‘I don’t recall’s’ was given. Rove could be heard saying “….and they say I’m manipulative” as BBG mumbled something about finally getting the $600 she needed.
JackiOh:
Hmmm. BootieBeerGirl. She couldn’t take all the bullies on the bored anymore, so she left. Her disillusionment with the bored began the day BritishRedneck voted for her as “Worst Poster.” The real slap in the face was the avalanche of “Least Literate Poster” votes coming from practically everyone else on the bored. Granted, it was in 2005, but she isn’t the quickest.
MamaJuggs:
Well, DUH ~ She’s been at school!
Based on her most recent posts, I’d say she took Second Grade Spelling, The Fine Art of Placing Strategic Holes in Fishnet Hose, and Deciphering Blonde Jokes for the Humor Impaired.
Next Semester? WHEEE! Breast Enlargement Exercise Classes (in this case the dumb-bell course requirement isn’t reeeeally necessary), Ebonics for the Racially Challenged 101, and How to be a Whoremonger’s BFF.
Future requirements for the Miss’ degree include:
Pantiless Paparazzi Peeks for the Prepubescent
Idiosyncratic Masturbation
Alternative Uses for the Wonder-Bra
Applied Coursework in Emergency Medical Blowjobs (EMB-101)
Beginning Rape Avoidance
STD Avoidance
Prerequisite Sugar Daddy Requirements, and
Practical Application of Boffing (a graduate class, thankyouverymuch)
md is
Email this author | All posts by md
