The Harbinger

This issue’s Spotlight on a Member is Civilized Redneck aka Fred, but not Fredrick. It may be his real name, but the only one that could call him that was his granny, and if she did, he was in trouble. She was the only one of two people that he has ever been afraid of. The other one is wife Nancy (more about her later). Fred was born in Ocala some 44 years ago. He is one of a dying breed of native Floridians. He lived in Ocala until he was about seven years old and then his family moved to the Groveland/Clermont area of Lake County. He graduated from Groveland High School in May of 1981. He used to work in the orange groves down there and he says that he had the best all-over tan of any of the workers because he worked out in the grove naked. Guess that he’s always been an exhibitionist/nudist!

He says that he’s always appreciated great butts on women. When he was five years old, he brought out one of his Dad’s Playboys, showed the centerfold to his Mom, and said “ She’s pretty!!!”

In 1984, he moved back to Ocala and found work on the horse farms. In 1988, he was riding his motorcycle to a party (sober and straight, believe it or not!) when a drunk driver struck the rear of his bike, sending him over the hood of the car, breaking his right leg, and putting him into a 17 day coma.

When he finally woke up, the physicians and therapists thought that he had a brain injury related speech problem and tried to send him to speech therapy. It took a friend of his (who happened to work in the hospital) to tell the doctors that he had always talked like that!

In August of 1991, he met Nancy at a dance. They started dating, and he moved in with her in September. Nancy asked him to marry her on February 29, 1992, on Sadie Hawkin’s Day. They married on Halloween, October 31, 1992 and had a costume wedding. Fred was the Grim Reaper—gray tux, hangman’s hood and an old-fashioned bush hog tool.

He starting listening to the Monsters while working on one of the horse farms and has been addicted to the Chronics ever since. His hobbies include watching NASCAR, computer games, the web board, and, oh yeah, his 5,000 or so pictures of women’s butts. Fred and Nancy have several pets including Ozzie, Monster and Lizzy.

Nancy gives him plenty of honey-do’s. She’s had him re-modeling their home for the last couple years so he’s had to learn a lot of new skills—plumbing, laying tile, carpentry. He’s a house-husband, so he also does all of the heavier yard work. He cooks, cleans, does laundry and irons Nancy’s uniforms (he irons better than she does!). Oh, yeah, he also built a 12’ x 24’ greenhouse for her this year.
Fred has a slight problem with his vision. When he goes to shake your hand, he tends to miss and get your butt instead. Next time you run into him, and he “accidentally” grabs your ass… it’s his way of saying hello.

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