it’s something…

So I have pumpkin plant growing in my back yard. I didn’t plant it…I mean I didn’t intentionally put the seed there. When we carve our pumpkin I toss the seeds and guts and stuff in a bucket then dump them in the trash and wash the bucket. This pumpkin “weed” is growing right next to my hose…where I would have washed the bucket. So I figure a seed washed out of the bucket and land on the mulch next to the house and started growing a few weeks ago.

This morning when I was leaving for work I notices a big ‘ole bloom so I grabbed a picture of it. There have been a few blooms, but they all go away pretty quick…I should look it up and see if that is normal.

Anyway I took a pic…it came out pretty nice, but I have been trying out Google’s Picasa, so I started playing with some of the tweaks and stuff and it ended up looking like this…

Sorry about the “blogish” post…but I needed to say some stuff about this cool pic.

Oh yeah…you can clicky the pic to see it a bit bigger.

So…I open the freezer and see a box of ice cream sandwiches. Mmmm…I like ice cream sandwiches, so I grab the box and as I am taking one out of the box I start to notice stuff on the box that doesn’t seem quite right.

“tofuti”

“dairy free”

What the fuck is this shit!?!?

So I return the bastard sandwich to the box and poke about the freezer for the real stuff…

6 month old frozen pretzels…peas…broccoli…hmm…freezer burned sherbet…

Why I am not seeing any ice cream sandwiches?

How cruel is it to bring on some kind of abomination of a desert and not bring home the real ones? You want to eat fake food that is fine with me, but fuck man I have no interest in eat fucking tofu ice cream even if it is wrapped in tasty chocolate cookie. Fuck the cookie prolly doesn’t even taste good…

Dairy free….free from anything good.

Do I need to say more than that? I mean really look at it…it is beautiful.

OK, I will say one more thing…Moo!

I don’t really want to talk about it…I am still trying to deal with all the stuff and stuff that goes with the stuff, but maybe soon. You know it is just one of those things that takes some time. Have to let it all sink in you know. Just so much to process…

I am sure that with some time I will be ready to discuss it and stuff, but right now I am just not ready. I am sure that you can understand. If you can’t then fuck you…no really fuck you…this is my life damn it. I am sorry I didn’t mean to lash out, I am just a little on edge I guess. These kinds of things will do that I guess…

So…how about that weather…sure was gray today, but it did get sunny and stuff…uh…

So…what’s…uh…new with you?

Well?

Fine…

If you want to be that way!

Shit I am doing it again…I am so sorry……….

I got a new toy…that’s all I have to say about that.

Check back tomorrow.

So the hardest part of blogging for me is the idea about what to write, so one of my faithful readers suggested I just brainstorm. So here I am brainstorming. So far so good I think. Not sure where it is going to go, but I guess that is the point of brainstorming.

Start writing and see where it goes. So where am I going to go. Hmm that is a good question isn’t it. I figure I should just keep typing and it will go somewhere. Kind of like when you get in the car and just start driving with no particular destination in mind.

OH! I was reading a book today and the author used a great word…duplicitous…say it out loud…go on do it dew-pliss-a-tiss. It is one of those words that is fun to say…did you say it? Go on…geez. By the way…it pretty much means two faced so that is why you are getting that look from the person (persons) who are sitting around you…

OK, back to brainstorming…

So when you brainstorm and there is like no storming going on what exactly do you do. I guess you are supposed to just put down whatever it is that is spinning around in your noggin. So this is what is spinning around in my noggin. It is like when you toss your tennis shoes in the dryer and it goes *clunk*clunk*clunk*…at least the shoes in my head seem to be the non-stinky kind. But who would put stinky shoes in the dryer anyway? I mean what would be the point of drying a stinky shoe? OK so you step in a puddle and get your shoe wet and you want it dry, and you throw the funky stank ass shoe in the dryer, and it comes out all nice and dry…now someone washes a load of clothes and tosses the clean clothes in the dryer and they come out with your stank ass shoe funk all over them…BRILLIANT!!

*clunk*clunk*clunk*

This is a post with words. As I begin I am not sure what words it will contain, but I can assure you that it most certainly will contain some. Words are an important part of blogging.

Some of you may not agree, but I can assure you that without words there would be no blog. See I tried it. It is very hard to blog without using any words. I of course was able to pull it off, but most people didn’t get it. Not that people not getting it is a problem for me. In fact I figure that most of the time, most of the people aren’t or won’t get this, but this doesn’t really concern me.

See the only person that has to get it is me. The problems begin when I don’t get it. Actually that gets a little scary.

“Where the hell did that come from?”

“Did I write that?”

“I don’t even remember eating any shrooms…”

But that isn’t going to be a problem tonight…I am 100% clean and sober…I think. I wonder if this would be any better if I was drunk. The only problem tonight is with words. I need some more of them to fill in a little bit more of this whitespace. Oh! I should check the word of the day. I have it on my google homepage and hardly ever pay attention to it. I really should look at it more often, then maybe I could avoid some of theanimadversion for my lack of words. Fortunately I think for tonight I have managed to string enough of them together to make something that could be called a post.

Tomorrow I might try it without any letters!

I am falling into a rut. I need to find a new angle for this little thing here.

I need to do something that no one has done before…

Something breath taking!

Something that takes your breath away!

Something that is….something.

I think I will pray on it.

I am not a most excellent typer or speller. This something that I spend a lot of time dealing with. Not just the hours I spend typing this blog, but I am a programmer…actually I don’t like to say I am a “programmer”. I prefer “software developer”…I develop software. I don’t really know what the fucking difference is, but it might have something to do with me not going to school for it and stuff I just started doing it. It also might be related to doing more than just “writing” a program. And to be honest I don’t enjoy writing the code as much as I like designing the program. Figuring out how to put blocks of logic and shit together to do the job that needs to get done. Plus I have to create the user interface. 95% of the user interface is created by moving the controls around on the screen with the mouse…this is not “programming” it is “developing”…fuck you it makes sense to me.

But I digress…so I CAN type and don’t do too bad when you consider that I got a C in my required HS typing class, then spent many years looking at my hands to type. But I am plagued by mistakes, my backspace key has wear marks. OK I realize that doesn’t make sense…I am just trying to make the point that I hit backspace a lot.

Anyway I also spend some time on the internet, and I have been known to spend a few hours of the day in a chat room. (fuck off…yeah you…I don’t want to hear any of your shit right now ok…) So sometime in this chat room we play trivia. Now I have a mind that soaks up stupid useless shit. Shit that has no practical application except for playing trivia. So I usually perform pretty well at trivia, but playing trivia in chat presents a unique problem for me. See in order to score points you have to be the first one to answer the question. Fine, but to answer the question you have to type the answer…spelled correctly…and when I try to type fast I type worser. So I know a lot of answers that I struggle to type and by the time I have typed the trivia bot has given a clue that allows the other people to figure out the answer that I knew without a clue but couldn’t fucking spell…fuckers!

I hate them…cause they can type fast…and spell.

I have a crush…it is stupid really. I am not even sure if it really even qualifies as a “crush”, but it is kind of embarrassing.

You know what I am talking about right?

It is kind of like when you are hungry and you start to salivate at the thought of biting into a great steak. Or the smell of a hamburger cooking on someones grill. When I see this person I start to salivate…

OK not literally…

Now back to the salivation…I am having trouble finding the right way to describe it, cause…not to get too gross or anything, but nothing is “moving”. It is just like I can’t stop looking at her. And oh man…I just saw her in this horrible movie, there is a scene with her swimming underwater where she kind of undulates…it does something to me deep down inside…and no not sexual you fucking perverts. Anyway, if I had a clip of her undulating I could watch it on an endless loop.

Where the fuck is this going…jesus I need to stop now…it is making me feel like some kind of weirdo freak…but seriously its not like that.

I swear! Jesus Fuck stop looking at me like that…OK I am not talking about this anymore, now just leave me alone already.

Oh yeah…if you have any good pics of Jessica Alba please pass them along…or something.