Another slow day…
Shake it like a Polaroid picture…
God’s Warrior…I really feel bad for this bitch’s kids.
Some tards are going to be on TV raising money for a good cause…
Turns out that chicks are better at spanking the monkey…
Seems like a bunch of people want to see “the boy who lived”…
Uh huh huh uh he said “tards”…
Today I started a little vacation and had some errands to run so I only managed to pick up some bits and pieces.
I am working hard to do more than just take up space, but I am thinking of taking up weaving.
You can put anything on a tortilla.
Retro is in.
Gay PETA freaks are funny
Some people like pink license plates.
Careful where you walk…some people leave their shit on the sidewalk
Some female doctor doesn’t like giving head.
jeffhowell.com…talk to me.
support the dumb: Amazon, Overstock.com, eBay
Porn is more important than shopping.
Oh I almost forgot the anal.
So yesterday I tried implementing some “typical” blogging…I am not sure how well this worked, but I did get a lot of positive response to the anal video. Today I want to try working with another suggestion I have been given…
You see there is a group of “special” people that I have the task of monitoring. Keeping up with these guys takes up a good bit of my time. Some days I can be distracted by them for most a day and even late into the evening. Since they take up so much of my time I tend to “learn” quite a bit from them.
Here is some of the stuff that I “learned” today.
They have spooks a Universal’s City Jazz. Apparently there is photographic evidence of this. I even hear that they are posessing innocent young white women.
To host a local morning radio talk show in Orlando you have to be an ass that can not detect the difference between heartfelt constructive criticism and a harsh “your show sucks” comments. Unless you bury your head in their ass.
If you have a better job offer you should take it, but if you work for a cunt don’t tell her that you have a new job.
Some people really suck at picking the winners of sporting events, other people seem to do it pretty well, but they are “just lucky”.
If you want to die brown hair to strawberry blond you have to dip your head in Clorox first, or just shave your head and get a wig.
The rational side of someone who is bi-polar seems to be more evident after lunch.
Drawing can be a fun way to express yourself.
This one is something that I seem to notice quite often, but there are some people that are experts at everything.
If you buy stuff online you can kicked in the back for it even if the place is overstocked…or something.
Dates are really important to some people.
Working on XM radio is bad for your heart.
And finally some people are just crazy.
So there it is…well as best as I can remember it anyway…I think it is pretty accurate…or something.
I think I need to apologize to the tens of you reading this…
See I am not a writer, and I don’t read blogs, so I really have no idea what I am doing here. Well I do have an idea what I am doing, but I am starting to think that I am doing it “right”.
So…let me try some stuff…
GWB is a big dummy he really screwed up that thing over there big time…that is about all I have on that…
Why are guys so fascinated with anal? Maybe it has something to do with repressed homosexuality and shit. I mean think about it…pussy is warm and moist and ass is well…ass is ass. Now don’t get me wrong I love to stick it in the rear just as much as the next guy, but that doesn’t mean I have to understand why I like doing it. Now watching a girl get anal…that I totally get…cause if she would let herself get filmed taking it in the backdoor there is not too much else that she wouldn’t do…
So what is up with Jenny A. and Vince V…I mean like ewww…he is like so not right for her and stuff… No really how could a chick go from Brad Pitt to Vince? I am not gay for Brad or anything but I understand that he has something that Vince doesn’t. I think Vince is funny and stuff…but a hunk…he is not…as far as I can tell anyway…but like I said I am not gay.
Wow…way too much gay stuff, not that there is anything wrong with that…
Here is a pic of my dog with a pom pom on her head and an orb…so I wonder if the “spook” was laughing at my dog?
OK…and in closing I think that Scott Peterson hacked up his wife and tossed her in the water for the sharks to eat…or maybe not.
So is one of these more “right” than another? Which one will get you to come back tomorrow?
Thanks for playing…or something.
I am not a joiner…
That is all I really have…I think I could turn this into something really good if I wasn’t so fucking tired. The thing is I don’t even know why I am so tired. Yes I did go out last night, but I was home and comfy in my Lazyboy be 7:30 and in bed buy 1:00 I think, and I didn’t get up particularly early. I tried several times to nap but every fucking time I dozed off, the dog would bark, the phone would ring, or something. So now I am sitting here thinking…I should write something…but I am having trouble keeping my eyes open…and I really don’t know what the fuck to write about anyway.
Anyway I had a great time for the the few hours I was out last night…but there is something about a quite night at home with the wife and a good movie that no amount of partying can compare to…
Yes, I have been corrupted…corrupted by the corporate take over of my beloved internet.
I have been online for about 10 years now. I seem to recall when Hotmail was announcing that they had reached 2 million users. WOW I was one of the first 2 million people using hotmail. How many are there now…I think I read somewhere it was up to 18 million. If you didn’t know…back then mircosoft didn’t own Hotmail.
Another thing I remember is the rise of instant messaging…not to clearly though, I think I am starting to get old or something. Anyway as I remember it AOL had all the long had IM on their network, but they didn’t have AIM yet. We used to use a little program call ICQ. Once AOL started loosening their reigns and were letting their users venture out into the “real” internet, AIM was not far behind. Anyway if if all of that is somewhat wrong, what I do remember is the guys over at ICQ trying to hook into AIM so that ICQ users could IM with people on AIM. Well AOL freaked the fuck out…whole lot of back and forth around and round and in the end AOL bought out ICQ…
Another cool thing that was just starting out back then were websites that let you create a website for free…ever heard of Geocities? Any guesses as to how this story goes? Good thing…gets very popular…bought out by yahoo. Actually there where quite a few people doing this type of thing back then, and I don’t think any of them have survived except maybe angelfire. (I am too lazy to look it up.) I remember that one of the sites didn’t require you to put a link back to them or anything, I am not sure how they could have expected this work out long term…when I think about it, I was pretty much using my free website as a blog. Of course back then it took a little more work than just typing and clicking publish.
Back then the internet was much more innocent…and it was actually pretty easy to find free porn, not the “free” previews you can get now, real free porn. Oh yeah and you didn’t have to deal with advertisements on ever single fucking website and spam email. I think I will have to devote some special time to spam so I won’t get into it now, but I will just say…my Hotmail account…the one I have had for like 10 years…I only ever get spam in that account…nothing else.
OK, you’re right not every single website has ads, but…this is no longer one of them! Yes I have sold out to the man…so get to clicking or something.
If you didn’t know I am a software developer, and I work for a small company. What this means is that I am the one that has to figure shit out.
We have some third party software that we need to distribute with our software, and our users are not typically all that sophisticated, so we have to make it as easy for them as possible. To make things easy for them I put a little “wrapper” around the third party installation program that force feeds the correct options to the installer. Most of the time this works pretty good as long as the end user doesn’t have something on their computer that conflicts the stuff we are installing. The funny thing…the only stuff that conflicts with this software is other shit from the same vendor.
Anyway…the vendor released a new version this week, so yesterday I set out to start updating my wrapper. Seems like it should be straight forward enough…
The app comes as a single file, when you run the file it creates a temporary directory and extracts (copies) a bunch of files into the temp directory then it runs one of those files. Wow too much techno babble… OK so anyway blah blah and feed in the options blah blah and it does this and that blah blah. When I do this manually straight from windows it works exactly as I expect it to…copy the same shit into my wrapper, compile, run…going going going….BOOM it blows up. Oh and this is after hours of digging through the web finding how to set the options I needed to set.
So back to the net…deadend…not that…how about this…FUCK this is frustrating!!! Oh look a manual only 116MB download…click…wait…download stalls…cancel…click…wait…wait…done. Alright…here we go! Search for install…OK…DAMN IT!!! Nothing that helps!
Oh…I forgot to mention that the new app also requires some other shit to be installed before it can be installed, and I did manage to get the wrapper to install that one yesterday. This included checking to make sure that it hadn’t already been installed.
So pretty much I spent my whole day spinning my wheels…or something.
Oh yeah and I just want to give a little shout out to my number one fan!!! googlebot…I love you man.
It appears that my blog is infest with bugs…
No not the virus kind of bugs the spider kind. A few days ago I installed that hit counter add on to the blog software. Well it is good stuff…too good. See with just simple number that says “this many people read your stupid shit today” you get the false sense that there are people really reading it. However, when you have good tools you find out that half of the “people” “reading” your blog are spiders from search engines it kind of takes the air out of you sails… The interesting thing is that with this blog software when you post a blog the software sends out a notification that lets certain sites and some of the spiders will start hitting almost immediately, others like google seem to come at random.
So what the fuck am I supposed to do about it? Well what I came up with was to try to keep writing…cause if I keep writing then maybe that will get real people in the habit of checking to see when I have written something new, and maybe, just maybe I can create some shit that is interesting enough to make people want to see if I wrote something new…
The thing is this is bugging the hell out of me for another reason…I hate that I care about this, and that this is the third time that I have actually bothered to write about it…
I should be writing about how shitty people drive or something like that…speaking of which…
Do people not know how to accelerate anymore? I swear I do not know how to drive as slow as some of these fucks on the road. The light turns green put your foot on the gas and press down, it is pretty fucking simple. It is really sad when you pull up to the red light, two lanes one is a dump truck, loaded with sand or rocks or some shit, the other lane a nice car not some piece of shit beater with black smoke rolling out the back, so naturally you get behind the car. The light turns green and the car starts to move and the truck lumbers forward…then the truck begins to move faster than the car in front of you…”what the fuck??? it is a fucking full dump truck!!!”.
But enough of that let me click “Publish” and watch for the bugs…or something.
Inspired by the tens of readers of this garbage that comes out of my head, I have been feeling motivated to put pen to paper so to speak and give you faithful readers new content. Maybe this fire that has been lit will burn for more than a few days…
The inspiration to write has spawned something else…reflection. Upon reflecting I realized something…I don’t think I am all that creative, when it comes to writing anyway. See I have a hard time coming up with something to right about, what you see here just happens. When I try to think about something to write and plan it out…”OK start here…mention that…end here”, it gets all fucked up. The problem may be that I just over think it or something, I don’t know. The funny thing is that I came to this conclusion based on my “Titles”. I am terrible coming up with creative titles. Even if I write 20 paragraphs of shit here pulling out a good title escapes me most of the time. I look at thisother guy’s titles and I am like “shit…that is a great title”. Sure he has a whole book of shit there that is pretty creative, but for whatever reason the titles are what got me thinking.
I don’t maybe I am completely off base, because I can create shit. Most things I can picture them in my head and then put them together, but that is more mechanical shit…like building a workbench for my garage or even writing a program. When I write a program I can sit down and plan out the basic structure of the whole thing in my head…I can almost see building blocks of the application in my head and weave them together, but words…words have always been a problem for me.
I have always had trouble with words. I always dreaded Fridays because that was the day for spelling test. Then once I got to whatever grade it is where they say your report, essay, whatever is “due Monday, double spaced and in pen“. IN PEN…oh fuck!! It is not that I have anything in particular against pens, but I can not write something without making a mistake…for as long as I can remember I have transposed b’s and d’s messed up g’s and j’s and spelled words wrong even when coping it from somewhere else. I also struggled with reading, at least reading quickly and comprehending what I had just read. Sometimes I would have to read something 2 or 3 times to “get it”. So this went on for 12-13 years of education. One day sitting in my dorm room I am watching the Cosby show, yes the Cosby show and they figure out that Theo has dyslexia. Dyslexia…I have heard of dyslexia before but the description you hear on TV never really fit with the reality of my problem, but on Cosby they mentioned a bunch of shit that I related to.
The funny thing is thinking back I don’t think it even clicked at that point, it took some time for it to sink in. “Wait a second…I am fucking dyslexic!” Then I got pissed…how the fuck did I make it through this much education and nobody fucking figured this out…I was a kid how the fuck was I supposed to figure out that I had a learning disability…shouldn’t someone along the way figured this out? I was pretty good at catching and correcting my mistakes, but when I was in school the class sizes where still pretty reasonable…hell in elementary school we had maybe 10-15 people in my class. I guess I am just lucky that I was smart enough to deal with my issues and now spell check is my freind.
Whoa shit…talk about a digression, like I was saying this is pretty much just a stream of consciousness (please note that if consciousness is spelled right, that is because spell checker fixed it, because I have no idea how to spell it right).
Anyway the bottom line is if you are coming here to read some well thought out creativity I am afraid you will be disappointed cause all you are going to get is whatever shit happens to come out of my head and onto the keyboard…or something.
Oh yeah…got a better title for me?
So…after all that rambling I did last night, that reminds me I think I need to make a rule aobut not blogging after 11 PM or something, but I digress…I got in to work today and checked the webstats to see the numbers and…OK so there are hits there, but I didn’t look to see how many I had yesterday say I don’t know how many are new and I don’t know how many might have been from earlier in the day even. Needless to say my ego was less stroked than I had hoped…
So I am clicking around in the blog admin stuff and see the plugins page…hmm…I wonder if there is a plugin that counts hits? It just so happens that there is. In fact it looks like there is more than one, but as serious as this business of getting stroked is it is not serious enough to spend time researching whether one plug in is better than the other, so I grab the first one and install it.
With great anticipation I proceed to the first test…
“Jacki, can you click on my blog for me”
“Ok I am there”
“Thanks”
I click the link to open the newly installed plugin… “Hits = 0″
Shit…what the fuck…I really don’t think I could have installed it wrong there are only 4 steps to the installation…and it even says “Activated” and shows up all green highlighted and shit in the plugin list.
GRRRR
So I think I need another test…maybe the plugin will only work on entries that are created after the plugin is installed…so if you are reading this now…thanks for helping me test my plugin hit counter…or something.
Update – So after creating the post it was still not working…so I checked the instructions again: “Now it’s ready to be used – see below how to use it…” Ohhhh…see below…ooops. Turns out that in order to use the counter you have to edit a file to trigger the counter, so that is done now and it is counting…thanks for playing along.
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